This Therapist's Therapy

  Conflict Resolution for Couples Focus on the Problem, Not the Person When a disagreement turns to personal insults, raised voices, yelling, or mocking tones, the conversation is no longer productive.  Be careful to focus only on the problem, without beginning to place blame on your partner.  If a disagreement becomes personal, you need to take a pause. Use Reflective Listening Frequently during arguments, we focus on getting our own point acress, rather than listening to our partner.  In fact, this happens in many conversations, in general.  Instead, listen to hear and understand your partner.  And then, before responding with your own thoughts,  restate what they have said to you, in your own words.  Then allow your partner to say whether you got the jist of what they were saying, and if not, they can rephrase it.  Continue this process until your partner agrees that you understand. Next, share your side.  Your partner should reflect back your ideas in their own words until they too

  Spectrum Unveiled: Therapeutic Insights on Parenting Through ADHD & Autism Discoveries  In light of our recent podcast episode about ADHD & Autism,  I chose to write a blog post about it. As a therapist, I have walked alongside many families on their journey of discovering and embtracing neurodivergence.  I understand the range of emotions that parents feel during this experience.  I recognize that it is a pivotal moment that marks the beginning of a unique journey, filled with challenges, triumphs, and abundance of love, grace, and compassion. In this blog post, I offer some guidance and support as you navigate this new experience. Allow Yourself to Feel It's natural to experience a whilrwind of emotions, from shock, to denial, to confusion, anger, sadness, and maybe even relief.  Go ahead, allow yourself to feel all the emotions - the whole range.  Take time to talk about and process your feelings without judgement.  It's okay to have lots of different feelings.  Bu

  Once a Cheater, Always a Cheater? How many times have you heard this question asked?  And what are YOUR thoughts about it? Research indicates that people who have cheated are 3 times more likely to cheat again. So what does that mean for your relationship? In light of the recent Married & Confused Podcast episode, hosted by me and my colleague, Claudia Delgado, LCSW, I thought I would share some thoughts here in a blog post. Fidelity is a big question on almost everyone's mind when they enter a serious relationship.  We all go into relationships hoping they will be faithful.  Yet we also know that statistics show that approximately 25% of men admit to cheating on their spouse at some point, while about 15% of women admit to the same.   Another study showed that up to 4% of married people had cheated on their spouse in the past year. As a marriage therapist, I've encountered numerous couples who have experienced infidelity in their marriage.  Many couples want to work to r

  Behind the Couch:  Understanding Why Therapists Opt Out of Insurance As a therapist, I've noticed an increase in the number of people who want/need to use their insurance benefits to receive therapy.  And, to be honest, when I first sought out a therapist for myself, I felt the exact same way.   I understand.  Therapy can be a very costly investment.  But that's how you have to think about it - as an investment...in yourself and your mental and emotional well-being. But working as a therapist, I've learned that there are some definite reasons that you may not want to use your inusrance benefits. Let me take a few moments to explain. Insurance Requires a Diagnosis In order to use your insurance for therapy benefits, the insurance company requires that the providing therapist give a diagnosis.  That means that once you enter into therapy using your health insurance benefits, there is a documented record of a mental health diagnosis on file for you.  And that record may stay

  Thinking About Retirement? Raise your hand if you're already thinking abour Retirement?  Yeah, me too!   But not from therapy - I LOVE that job!  Being a therapist is my therapy. Part of my work as a therapist is to help people through various life transitions.  It's one of the things I love best to help people with.  But there's one of life's transitions that often gets overlooked, and that's the transition into retirement.  People are quick to think about or even plan for other life transitions, such as parenthood, empty nest, or career planning, but they forget to think about retirement. Some of you may be approaching this significant milestone, and as you do, it's important to prioritize your mental and emotional health, not just your financial future.  In this blog post, I'll share some insights and tips to help you prepare for a meaningful and fulfilling retirement. Reflect on Your Career It's important to take time to reflect on your own life an

  A Guide To Letting Go of Past Relationships Letting go of past relationships can be a challenging yet essential aspect of personal growth and emotional well-being.  Whether the break up was amicable or filled with heartache, holding onto the past can hinder your ability to embrace new opportunities.  This blog post is written to provide practical tips on how to let go and move forward. Acceptance The first step in letting go of a past relationship is to acknowledge and accept that the relationship is over.  The longer you hold on, the harder it will be to actually let go.  Holding on to the past won't change the present or future.  Instead, embrace the reality of the situation. Refelct & Learn Take some time to reflect on the relationship.  Identify lessons learned and  any personal growth you've experienced.  This reflection is super in helping youl learn.  It's important to understand what went wrong or appreciate and acknowledge the positive aspects, as they can he