This Therapist's Therapy

  Spectrum Unveiled: Therapeutic Insights on Parenting Through ADHD & Autism Discoveries  In light of our recent podcast episode about ADHD & Autism,  I chose to write a blog post about it. As a therapist, I have walked alongside many families on their journey of discovering and embtracing neurodivergence.  I understand the range of emotions that parents feel during this experience.  I recognize that it is a pivotal moment that marks the beginning of a unique journey, filled with challenges, triumphs, and abundance of love, grace, and compassion. In this blog post, I offer some guidance and support as you navigate this new experience. Allow Yourself to Feel It's natural to experience a whilrwind of emotions, from shock, to denial, to confusion, anger, sadness, and maybe even relief.  Go ahead, allow yourself to feel all the emotions - the whole range.  Take time to talk about and process your feelings without judgement.  It's okay to have lots of different feelings.  Bu

  Thinking About Retirement? Raise your hand if you're already thinking abour Retirement?  Yeah, me too!   But not from therapy - I LOVE that job!  Being a therapist is my therapy. Part of my work as a therapist is to help people through various life transitions.  It's one of the things I love best to help people with.  But there's one of life's transitions that often gets overlooked, and that's the transition into retirement.  People are quick to think about or even plan for other life transitions, such as parenthood, empty nest, or career planning, but they forget to think about retirement. Some of you may be approaching this significant milestone, and as you do, it's important to prioritize your mental and emotional health, not just your financial future.  In this blog post, I'll share some insights and tips to help you prepare for a meaningful and fulfilling retirement. Reflect on Your Career It's important to take time to reflect on your own life an

  Tax Time Well, it's that time of year where we start thinking about, or for some of us, worrying about our taxes. We gather all our receipts, W-2's, and spend maybe hours sorting through stuff, inputting numbers into a spreadsheet or tax filing program.  Or maybe we take a box of paperwork to our CPA and wish them the best. But for most people, the months of December through April are stressful, because financial stressors often come to the forecront.  As a Couples Counselor, I recognize that money matters can have a significant impact on the marriage.  In fact, it is one of the most common things that cause marital arguements.  So, how do you manage the tax season with your spouse? Here are some valuable tips to help you and your spouse manage the stress of tax season and maintain a healthy connection. Open Communication     You know, I feel like I write about communication all the time in these posts, and while I don't want to be redundant, communication is probably the

  Money Matters:  Debt & Finances in Marriage The topic of finances often weaves its way through the delicate balance of love, commitment, and shared goals.  In working with couples over the years, one of the topics that almost always inevitably comes up is finances.  One person feels the other one is spending too much money.  One person is trying hard to pay down debt.  This topic can have a profound impact on marital harmony. In this blog post, I'll explore the challenges that many couples face and provide some guidance on navigating these difficult discussions. The Importance of Open Communication Open, honest, and transparent communication is the cornerstone of a strong, lasting marriage, especially when it comes to financial matters.  From the very start of their relationship, a couples should begin talking about finances.  This will make it a normal and comfortable topic to begin with, so it isn't as difficult to discuss later.  As a relationship progresses and become

Navigating Black Friday:  A Therapist's Perspective Black Friday is just a few short days away.  Many of you have probably already planned out your early morning shopping route and which bargains you're going to chase.   And while Black Friday can be fun and we can find lots of great deals, I encourage families to approach Black Friday mindfully to ensure that the pursuit of bargains doesn't overshadow the importance of family connection and well-being.  And that can be well-being as far as physical, mental, or financial health.   Communication is Key: Open and honest communication is the foundations of any healthy relationships.   Before diving into the madness of Black Friday and getting caught up in the craziness of the crowds, have a family discussion about expectations,, budget consraints, and priorities.  By doing this ahead of time, you will preent conflicts, melt downs, or disappointments later while you're out.  Being out on Black Friday is already stressful, s

  Asking For Help is NOT a Sign of Weakness, But Not Asking IS. Within our relationships, we often choose not to ask for help.  Perhaps it's because we are too proud, or maybe we don't want our partner to know that we don't know what we're doing.  Or maybe we don't want to feel like a burden to our partner. Whatever the reason you don't ask for help, you need to know right now that it is not a weakness to ask for help.  Asking for help is demonstrating humility and a desire to grow and learn.  And most people appreciate people who want to grow and learn.  One person can't know everything about everything, so we can all learn from others.   Think about all the areas in life in which we ask/get help from others - teachers, coaches, pastors, therapists...the list goes on.  But I bet you don't think that asking these people for help is weak.  So why do you think about asking others or asking your partner for help is weak. In fact, the Bible tells us in Prove

  How to Get Rid of ANTS! Does it sometimes feel like you can't do anything right?  Everything is going wrong?  You're a failure? Most likely that's due to what is known as Automatics Negative Thoughts - ANTs.  They are cynical, negative, or complaining thoughts that come to us unsolicited.  We all have them from time to time and they often hold us back from doing the the things we want to do.  They hold us back from success or happiness. But you don't have to be a victim of ANTs.  Here's a few tips to help you get rid of ANTs, once and for all: 1)     Recognize & Identify the Thought - the first step to combatting ANTs is to recognize when they're happening.  You may start to hear that catastrophizing voice in your head that causes doubt and uncertainty.  Once you hear that thought in your mind, give it a personality or a name.  Think of it as an outside entity.  Now that you've thinking of the negative thought in the third person, ask yourself if you w

How to Overcome Dental Anxiety Do you get nervous when it's getting close to your next dental appointment?  Or even worse, do you not even schedule appointments because you're too scared? But at the same time, you know you need to have a check up and cleaning, or you might even have some teeth that are hurting. Below is a video of a few tips you can use to overcome dental anxiety. If you'd like more direct and personal help with anxiety, please visit my website and schedule a free 15 minute consultation - www.brittaniedmillslmft.com . I provide online counseling throughout California and Florida. Website - www.brittaniedmilslmft.com Email - bdmills@brittaniedmillslmft.com Phone - (925) 335-6122  

  In Part 4  of this series on How to Manage Anxiety ,  we talked about Exercise/Movement. What types of exercies or movement did YOU do this week?  Tell us about it! Over the next few weeks, I'm going to share some tips on how to manage anxiety Maybe you're in a Leadership or Executive Level and you're excelling at your job, but deep inside, every day is a battle within yourself.  Maybe you're a wife, mom, and career woman, and sometimes things just get overwhelming. Today we'll look at an ongoing way in which you can manage your anxiety - Practicing Gratitude. I can't say enough on how much an "Attitude of Gratitude" can really help with mood and anxiety.   It sounds so simple. I encourage you, each morning, as you start the day, to think of three things you are grateful for.  These can be small things or bigger things.  From, "I'm grateful for my cat, because he likes to snuggle on my lap while I watch t.v.". to "I am grateful for

  In  Part 3  of this series on How to Manage Anxiety ,  we talked about The 5-4-3-2-1 Exercise. Drop a comment below to share how the exercise helped you or what you noticed when you tried it. Over the next few weeks, I'm going to share some tips on how to manage anxiety Maybe you're in a Leadership or Executive Level and you're excelling at your job, but deep inside, every day is a battle within yourself.  Maybe you're a wife, mom, and career woman, and sometimes things just get overwhelming. Today we'll look at something you can do on a regular basis OR in the moment that anxiety strikes - Exercise/Movement. You may have heard that exercise releases endorphins, which are natural chemicals in our body that make us feel good.  Endorphins are helpful in reducing stress and anxiety, as well as strengthening feelings of positivity.  It is often considered a natural and healthy "high".  Instead of taking substances to fight your feelings of anxiety, you can

  How to Manage Anxiety - Part 3 In Part 2 of this series on How to Manage Anxiety ,  we talked about Positive Visualization. Drop a comment below to share how the exercises helped you or what you noticed when you tried them. Over the next few weeks, I'm going to share some tips on how to manage anxiety, especially for those who are considered High Performers.  Maybe you're in a Leadership or Executive Level and you're excelling at your job, but deep inside, every day is a battle within yourself. Together, we'll look at some strategies you can use in the moment of anxiety, that no one else even has to be aware of.  Because, let's face it, you don't want everyone else to know just how anxious and uncertain you're feeling. The next tool is the 5-4-3-2-1 Exercise.  I know you're probably asking, "What the heck is that?" It's sort of a way we can trick our mind or distract it from the thoughts that are causing anxiety. Again, these are things