This Therapist's Therapy

  As a Couple's Counselor, I've been asked to help couples learn to fight fairly.  Because, hey, all couples disagree and fight, to some extent or another.  So, I wanted to share some tips on how to have fair and productive fights with your husband or wife.  Wouldn't you rather have a productive fight, instead of one where you both end up hurting each other? So I'm providing a 10 part blog series, addressing some common Rules for Fair Fighting. During the first week I shared Rule #1 -   Before your begin, ask yourself why you feel upset. To read that post, click here: https://brittaniedmillsmft.blogspot.com/2021/10/fair-fighting-rules-for-couples-rule-1.html During the second week, I shared Rule #2 -  Express your feelings with words and take responsibility for them; own and express your feelings, respectfully. To read that post, click here: https://brittaniedmillsmft.blogspot.com/2021/10/fair-fighting-rules-for-couples-rule-2.html During the third week, I shared Rule

  As a Couple's Counselor, I've been asked to help couples learn to fight fairly.  Because, hey, all couples disagree and fight, to some extent or another.  So, I wanted to share some tips on how to have fair and productive fights with your husband or wife.  Wouldn't you rather have a productive fight, instead of one where you both end up hurting each other? So I'm going to provide a 10 part blog series, addressing some common Rules for Fair Fighting. During the first week I shared Rule #1 -   Before your begin, ask yourself why you feel upset. To read that post, click here: https://brittaniedmillsmft.blogspot.com/2021/10/fair-fighting-rules-for-couples-rule-1.html During the second week, I shared Rule #2 -  Express your feelings with words and take responsibility for them; own and express your feelings, respectfully. To read that post, click here: https://brittaniedmillsmft.blogspot.com/2021/10/fair-fighting-rules-for-couples-rule-2.html And last week, I shared Rule

  As a Couple's Counselor, I've been asked to help couples learn to fight fairly.  Because, hey, all couples disagree and fight, to some extent or another.  So, I wanted to share some tips on how to have fair and productive fights with your husband or wife.  Wouldn't you rather have a productive fight, instead of one where you both end up hurting each other? So I'm going to provide a 10 part blog series, addressing some common Rules for Fair Fighting. During the first week I shared Rule #1 -   Before your begin, ask yourself why you feel upset. To read that post, click here: https://brittaniedmillsmft.blogspot.com/2021/10/fair-fighting-rules-for-couples-rule-1.html Last week, I shared Rule #2 -  Express your feelings with words and take responsibility for them; own and express your feelings, respectfully. To read that post, click here: https://brittaniedmillsmft.blogspot.com/2021/10/fair-fighting-rules-for-couples-rule-2.html In this week's post, I am sharing Rule

  As a Couple's Counselor, I've been asked to help couples learn to fight fairly.  Because, hey, all couples disagree and fight, to some extent or another.  So, I wanted to share some tips on how to have fair and productive fights with your husband or wife.  Wouldn't you rather have a productive fight, instead of one where you both end up hurting each other? So I'm going to provide a 10 part blog series, addressing some common Rules for Fair Fighting. Last week I shared Rule #1 -   Before your begin, ask yourself why you feel upset. This week, I'm sharing Rule #2 -  Express your feelings with words and take responsibility for them; own and express your feelings, respectfully. You've heard it before, or probably even said it..."You made me feel..." or "You always/never..." It's pretty common to take out your anger by directing it toward your spouse. But, as you can probably imagine, approaching things that way usually immediately puts yo

As a Couple's Counselor, I've been asked to help couples learn to fight fairly.  Because, hey, all couples disagree and fight, to some extent or another.  So, I wanted to share some tips on how to have fair and productive fights with your husband or wife.  Wouldn't you rather have a productive fight, instead of one where you both end up hurting each other? So I'm going to provide a 10 part blog series, addressing some common Rules for Fair Fighting. Rule #1 -  Before your begin, ask yourself why you feel upset. Are you truly angry because your partner left their dishes on the kitchen counter, dirty socks on the bedroom floor, or trash overflowing...again?  Those probably aren't the real reason you're upset, frustrated or angry. Those are just the icing on the cake. Those are just signs of a deeper problem. Or are you really upset because you feel like you’re doing an uneven share of the housework, and this is just one more piece of evidence?  Before you lash