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Showing posts from September, 2021

Relational Equity

Relational Equity is the equivalent of money in the bank.  In a relationship, we build up equity with affirmation, kindness, love, support, encouragement, honesty, and vulnerability.  We need to deposit more than we withdraw.  However, by building up enough relational equity, it makes space for the hard truths and difficult conversations.  If we have enough relational "money in the bank", then there is grace for real talk, honest conversations.  It's important to always be mindful of our relational account balances with our spouse/partner, so we know when and if we can make a withdrawal or if we need to make more deposits.  It's always wise to make sure there's never a negative balance. If you'd like more direct and personal help with improving communication or harmony in your relationships, please visit my website and schedule a free 15 minute consultation - www.brittaniedmillslmft.com . I provide online couples and individual counseling throughout California

Couples Counseling

 Should We Get Couples Counseling? One of the most common things I hear from people who are seeking couples' counseling is  "We have communication issues."   Well what does that mean?   For most people, it means that they haven't learned how to communicate in a way in which the other person can truly hear them.  It also means they haven't learned how to listen to understand instead of listening to respond.  There's a big difference! Most of us, when in a difficult conversation or argument, immediately get defensive.   It's a normal human response.  But it's not a healthy response.  And it's one of the main things that causes "communication issues" with couples. So what do you do to fix it? There are several strategies you can try: 1)  Reflective Listening 2)  Time Outs 3) Over-Communicating Reflective Listening   is allowing your partner to share what's on their mind, what's bothering them, without interruption.  It is truly liste