This Therapist's Therapy

  From ‘Me’ to ‘We’:  Unlock the Secret to Shared Interests with Your Partner One of the keys to a healthy thriving relationship is discovering shared interests. Whether you're just starting out or have been together for years, developing activities that both you and your partner enjoy can deepen your bond, bring about better communication, and create lasting memories. Let’s dive into how you can start building shared interests by reflecting on key aspects of your relationship. 1. Where Did You and Your Partner Meet? Thinking about where you and your partner first met can be a great start for developing shared interests. Was it at a concert, a mutual friend’s party, or perhaps a hiking trip? Where or how you met may already hint at common interests or values you share. For example, if you met at a social event, you may both enjoy activities that involve interacting with others, such as game nights or group adventures.  You could consider joining some groups that plan activities tog

An "I" for an "I": 6 Steps to Using "I" Statements Effectively The Power of "I" Statements in Marriage  Communication is key to any healthy marriage. When couples argue or face challenges, the way they express their feelings and needs can either bring them closer together or drive them further apart. One of the most effective tools for improving communication and reducing conflict is the use of "I" statements. Here's why "I" statements are so powerful and how you can use them to strengthen your marriage. Understanding "I" Statements "I" statements are a communication tool that focuses on expressing and taking ownership of your own feelings, needs, and experiences rather than blaming or criticizing your partner. By starting your sentences with "I" rather than "You," you take responsibility for your emotions and reduce the chances of your partner feeling attacked or defensive.  I'm

  Mirror, Mirror: 9 Tips for Reflective Listening Reflective Listening: Tips for Couples in Therapy One of the main issues that couples come to therapy for is communication problems.  In fact, communication is often at the heart of many relationship challenges. Reflective Listening is a powerful tool that can help couples bridge gaps, deepen understanding, and rebuild trust. As a therapist, here are some tips I often share with couples to help them master the art of reflective listening in their relationship. 1. Prioritize a Calm and Open Environment For reflective listening to be effective, both partners need to feel safe and comfortable. This means setting aside time to talk when neither of you is rushed, distracted, or overly emotional. Choose a time when you can both focus on the conversation and each other. Pro Tip :Agree on a “talk time” where you can sit together without distractions like phones or TV. This dedicated time shows your commitment to really hearing each other.  I of

  The Importance of Disclosing Personal History to Your Spouse As I have asked around for blog post topics, this topic emerged several times. So, I thought we would go ahead and tackle this important subject. In every relationship, especially in marriages, open communication is key to building trust and deepening intimacy. Disclosing personal history to your spouse can be a daunting task, but it is a crucial aspect of fostering a strong and resilient partnership. This can include information anywhere from body count to childhood trauma and anything in between. This blog post explores the significance of sharing your past experiences, how it can enhance your relationship, and practical tips for making this disclosure a positive experience. Why Disclosing Personal History Matters Building Trust: Trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship. When you choose to disclose personal history, you demonstrate vulnerability. This openness invites your spouse to reciprocate, leading to a

                           Mental Illness in Marriage:                                Understanding & Managing One Partner's Diagnosis Marriage is often seen as a partnership built on love, trust, and companionship, but what happens when one partner is diagnosed with a mental health condition? The impact can be significant, affecting not just the individual but also the dynamic of the relationship. Understanding this influence and finding ways to manage it together is essential for maintaining a healthy marriage. The Ripple Effect of a Mental Health Diagnosis Receiving a mental health diagnosis can be scary, nor just for the person receiving the diagnosis, but for the entire family. When one partner receives a mental health diagnosis—whether it’s depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, or another condition—it can reshape the foundation of the relationship. It's important for everyone to try to understand the diagnosis and how it may show up in the relationship and family. H

Finding Help Through Humor: The Therapeutic Power of Humor  Through Hardships As a therapist, I have witnessed firsthand the life changing power of humor in the lives of my clients. Life is often unpredictable and can throw unexpected hardships our way. Whether it's coping with grief, managing chronic illness, or navigating personal crises, the journey through these challenges can feel overwhelming. However, one of the most effective and underrated tools for resilience is humor.  In fact, I frequently use humor during my therapy sessions, because it tends to lighten the mood and allow people to drop their guard a bit. With that said, let me tell you a little bit about why and how humor can be helpful during therapy. The Role of Humor in Therapy Humor is more than just a brief moment in time, in which we escape from pain; it is a profound therapeutic tool that fosters healing and connection. In therapy, humor can serve several crucial functions: 1. Builds Rapport: Sharing a laugh c

  Between the Sheets: The Rollercoaster of Sex Drives in Marriage Marriage is a journey filled with ups and downs, and one aspect that often experiences significant fluctuations is sexual desire. The roller coaster of sex drives in marriage is a common experience for many couples, and understanding and navigating these changes can strengthen the relationship and enhance intimacy.  This is a common topic that frequently comes up during marriage counseling.  So, let's take a look together. Understanding the Fluctuations Sexual desire is influenced by a myriad of factors, both internal and external. Hormonal changes, stress levels, physical health, emotional well-being, and life circumstances all play a role in shaping one’s libido. In a marriage, these factors can affect each partner differently, leading to periods where sexual desires are perfectly aligned and times when they diverge significantly. Hormonal Changes: Hormonal fluctuations, such as those experienced during pregnancy,