This Therapist's Therapy

  Thinking About Retirement? Raise your hand if you're already thinking abour Retirement?  Yeah, me too!   But not from therapy - I LOVE that job!  Being a therapist is my therapy. Part of my work as a therapist is to help people through various life transitions.  It's one of the things I love best to help people with.  But there's one of life's transitions that often gets overlooked, and that's the transition into retirement.  People are quick to think about or even plan for other life transitions, such as parenthood, empty nest, or career planning, but they forget to think about retirement. Some of you may be approaching this significant milestone, and as you do, it's important to prioritize your mental and emotional health, not just your financial future.  In this blog post, I'll share some insights and tips to help you prepare for a meaningful and fulfilling retirement. Reflect on Your Career It's important to take time to reflect on your own life an

  Asking For Help is NOT a Sign of Weakness, But Not Asking IS. Within our relationships, we often choose not to ask for help.  Perhaps it's because we are too proud, or maybe we don't want our partner to know that we don't know what we're doing.  Or maybe we don't want to feel like a burden to our partner. Whatever the reason you don't ask for help, you need to know right now that it is not a weakness to ask for help.  Asking for help is demonstrating humility and a desire to grow and learn.  And most people appreciate people who want to grow and learn.  One person can't know everything about everything, so we can all learn from others.   Think about all the areas in life in which we ask/get help from others - teachers, coaches, pastors, therapists...the list goes on.  But I bet you don't think that asking these people for help is weak.  So why do you think about asking others or asking your partner for help is weak. In fact, the Bible tells us in Prove

  How to Get Rid of ANTS! Does it sometimes feel like you can't do anything right?  Everything is going wrong?  You're a failure? Most likely that's due to what is known as Automatics Negative Thoughts - ANTs.  They are cynical, negative, or complaining thoughts that come to us unsolicited.  We all have them from time to time and they often hold us back from doing the the things we want to do.  They hold us back from success or happiness. But you don't have to be a victim of ANTs.  Here's a few tips to help you get rid of ANTs, once and for all: 1)     Recognize & Identify the Thought - the first step to combatting ANTs is to recognize when they're happening.  You may start to hear that catastrophizing voice in your head that causes doubt and uncertainty.  Once you hear that thought in your mind, give it a personality or a name.  Think of it as an outside entity.  Now that you've thinking of the negative thought in the third person, ask yourself if you w

  Tips for Maintaining Healthy Boundaries I usually add a new blog post on Wednesdays, but this past week, I was under the weather, so I wasn't able to do so.  At first, I felt a little badly that I had missed posting a blog, but then I realized or remembered that I had to draw a boundary for myself.  We can't burn the candle at both ends and expect for that to be sustainable.  And we can't help others, if we aren't first taking care of ourselves...kind of like the oxygen masks on an airplane.  The flight attendants always tell you to put your oxygen mask on first, and then attend to others.  We are of no help to others if we aren't breathing.  So, because I wasn't feeling well, I drew my own boundary and realized I had to prioritize my own health, ahead of posting a blog.  After all, the blog ain't going anywhere! But that got me thinkin about healthy boundaries, so I decided to provide some tips for (establishing) and maintaining healthy boundaries. Person

  In Part 4  of this series on How to Manage Anxiety ,  we talked about Exercise/Movement. What types of exercies or movement did YOU do this week?  Tell us about it! Over the next few weeks, I'm going to share some tips on how to manage anxiety Maybe you're in a Leadership or Executive Level and you're excelling at your job, but deep inside, every day is a battle within yourself.  Maybe you're a wife, mom, and career woman, and sometimes things just get overwhelming. Today we'll look at an ongoing way in which you can manage your anxiety - Practicing Gratitude. I can't say enough on how much an "Attitude of Gratitude" can really help with mood and anxiety.   It sounds so simple. I encourage you, each morning, as you start the day, to think of three things you are grateful for.  These can be small things or bigger things.  From, "I'm grateful for my cat, because he likes to snuggle on my lap while I watch t.v.". to "I am grateful for

  In  Part 3  of this series on How to Manage Anxiety ,  we talked about The 5-4-3-2-1 Exercise. Drop a comment below to share how the exercise helped you or what you noticed when you tried it. Over the next few weeks, I'm going to share some tips on how to manage anxiety Maybe you're in a Leadership or Executive Level and you're excelling at your job, but deep inside, every day is a battle within yourself.  Maybe you're a wife, mom, and career woman, and sometimes things just get overwhelming. Today we'll look at something you can do on a regular basis OR in the moment that anxiety strikes - Exercise/Movement. You may have heard that exercise releases endorphins, which are natural chemicals in our body that make us feel good.  Endorphins are helpful in reducing stress and anxiety, as well as strengthening feelings of positivity.  It is often considered a natural and healthy "high".  Instead of taking substances to fight your feelings of anxiety, you can

  How to Manage Anxiety - Part 3 In Part 2 of this series on How to Manage Anxiety ,  we talked about Positive Visualization. Drop a comment below to share how the exercises helped you or what you noticed when you tried them. Over the next few weeks, I'm going to share some tips on how to manage anxiety, especially for those who are considered High Performers.  Maybe you're in a Leadership or Executive Level and you're excelling at your job, but deep inside, every day is a battle within yourself. Together, we'll look at some strategies you can use in the moment of anxiety, that no one else even has to be aware of.  Because, let's face it, you don't want everyone else to know just how anxious and uncertain you're feeling. The next tool is the 5-4-3-2-1 Exercise.  I know you're probably asking, "What the heck is that?" It's sort of a way we can trick our mind or distract it from the thoughts that are causing anxiety. Again, these are things

How to Manage Anxiety  In Part 1 of this series on How to Manage Anxiety , we talked about breathing exercises.   Drop a comment below to share how the exercises helped you or what you noticed when you tried them. Over the next few weeks, I'm going to share some tips on how to manage anxiety, especially for those who are considered High Performers.  Maybe you're in a Leadership or Executive Level and you're excelling at your job, but deep inside, every day is a battle within yourself. Together, we'll look at some strategies you can use in the moment of anxiety, that no one else even has to be aware of.  Because, let's face it, you don't want everyone else to know just how anxious and uncertain you're feeling. The next tool is Positive Visualization .  I know it sounds kind of weird and "woo woo", but trust me, it works.  I had a coach teach it to me a few years back, and it was helpful. So, this is something you do prior to going into a stressful s

  How to Manage Anxiety - Part 1 Over the next few weeks, I'm going to share some tips on how to manage anxiety, especially for those who are considered High Performers.  Maybe you're in a Leadership or Executive Level and you're excelling at your job, but deep inside, every day is a battle within yourself. Together, we'll look at some strategies you can use in the moment of anxiety, that no one else even has to be aware of.  Because, let's face it, you don't want everyone else to know just how anxious and uncertain you're feeling. So, we'll start simple.  Breathing exercises. First, you'll inhale for 5 seconds, taking a nice big, deep breath.  Then you'll exhale for 5 seconds, preferably through your mouth, letting out as much air as possible.  And then you'll repeat this for about 1 minute.  If you're able to or comfortable with it, you can even close your eyes while you do this, to help minimize distractions. What you'll begin to n

As a Couple's Counselor, I've been asked to help couples learn to fight fairly.  Because, hey, all couples disagree and fight, to some extent or another.  So, I wanted to share some tips on how to have fair and productive fights with your husband or wife.  Wouldn't you rather have a productive fight, instead of one where you both end up hurting each other? So I'm going to provide a 10 part blog series, addressing some common Rules for Fair Fighting. Rule #1 -  Before your begin, ask yourself why you feel upset. Are you truly angry because your partner left their dishes on the kitchen counter, dirty socks on the bedroom floor, or trash overflowing...again?  Those probably aren't the real reason you're upset, frustrated or angry. Those are just the icing on the cake. Those are just signs of a deeper problem. Or are you really upset because you feel like you’re doing an uneven share of the housework, and this is just one more piece of evidence?  Before you lash

  Thank you for continuing to join me on this series about respect.  This week, I had a few moments with my husband when I realized that, in that moment, I was not following some of these tips about respect.  I found myself interrupting him and not always considering his opinion.  So, again, I'm glad that we can take this the journey together. Let's look at the next 10 tips: 51)  Make the other person's favorite meals regularly (This applies primarily to married couples or domestic partners) This is a way to show that you have listened.  You know what they like.  Also, they often say that food is the way to a person's heart.  If that's true ,then making the other person's favorite meals is a way show your respect. 52)  Ask the other person for advice on the things you're dealing with. This goes along with some of the other things we've discussion, but if you're having a hard time with something or tryin to make a difficult decision, ask the other per

  Good work so far!  I'm glad you've come back for Part 3.  You're going to be glad you decided to take this journey. This week you'll use the information you've gathered about yourself over the past 2 weeks to develop your confidence.  I bet you're wondering how your values, barriers, and next steps lead to confidence.   Here's the thing, now that you know who you are and what's important to you, and hopefully broken down the barriers that you identified and have taken the steps to make the improvements you wanted to see in your life, you can live authentically and congruent with who you are.  You are no longer living behind a mask of uncertainty or insecurity! Take a moment to think about that!!  You've done a lot of work to get here!  Give yourself a pat on the back!   So much of confidence simply comes from knowing yourself and your values. Confidence is defined as "the feeling or belief that one can rely on someone or something; the state o