Skip to main content

How to Get Rid of ANTS!

 



How to Get Rid of ANTS!


Does it sometimes feel like you can't do anything right?  Everything is going wrong?  You're a failure?
Most likely that's due to what is known as Automatics Negative Thoughts - ANTs.  They are cynical, negative, or complaining thoughts that come to us unsolicited.  We all have them from time to time and they often hold us back from doing the the things we want to do.  They hold us back from success or happiness.

But you don't have to be a victim of ANTs.  Here's a few tips to help you get rid of ANTs, once and for all:

1)    Recognize & Identify the Thought - the first step to combatting ANTs is to recognize when they're happening.  You may start to hear that catastrophizing voice in your head that causes doubt and uncertainty.  Once you hear that thought in your mind, give it a personality or a name.  Think of it as an outside entity.  Now that you've thinking of the negative thought in the third person, ask yourself if you would allow someone else to talk to you the way this ANT is talking to you.  Stand up for yourself.  Don't let them bully you or hold you back from your full potential.  By separating yourself from your thought, it's easier to combat them.

2)  Challenge the Thought - once you've idetnified the ANT, ask yourself if it is actually true.  More often than not, the ANT is completely false and you literally have no evidence to support such a false claim.  Yet you've allowed that ANT to become engrained in you and become part of who your are.  If you find that this is happening to you, practice reminding yourself that these thoughts are false and recognize that you have no evidence to support this false claim.  Then begin to notice the evidence that contradicts the ANT or supports the opposite to be true.

2)    Get Perspective - thoughts are simply that.  Just thoughts.   They can't hurt you and have no power over you.  We have thousands of thoughts every day.  Some good and some bad.  Have you ever notcied that you have some thoughts that you give a lot more attention and power to?  If you struggle with ANTs, you probably focus a lot of energy and attention of those thoughts.  And some of them may be legit thoughts.  They may be valid.  There may be areas in your life that you wish you had made difference choices and done something different.  If you rate the significance of these thoughts on a 10 point sclae, would you find that you're giving some of the ANTs a rating of 8 or 9, when it really only deserves a rating of 3 or 4?  If so, then the guilt and fear may actually be holding you back and not allowing you to make the changes you so desire.  Adjusting your perspective might help.  Remember that these thought are simpy thoughts and don't have any power over you, unless you give them power.

4)  Replace the Thought - Now we need to flip your Automatic Negative Thought into a Positive & Affirmative Thought.  I'm not talking about the meme worthy, inspirtational, unrealistic affirmations we see all the time.  It's about taking a look at the irrational, negative thought that is bringing you down and causing problems, and replacing it with a realistic positive thought.  You decide what you allow to influence you.  Out with the bad, in with the good.

For example, your automatic thought may sound something like this...
"Something bad is going to happen.  It always does."  

But instead, replace it with...
"Bad things and good things happen.  When bad things happen, I don't like it, but I've proven that I can handle it."

So, the next time you notice some pesky ANTs, remind yourself to recognize them, challenge them, reframe them, and replace them.  If you make a habit of dispelling and disarming these negative thoughts, you will find that over time, they will no longer have control of you and instead you can control your own feelings and gain the confidence to be and do the things you want to do.  You can conquer Automatic Negative Thoughts.

The oversimplied version - Replace Automatic Negative Thoughts with Positive Affirmative Thoughts.

If you'd like to read other blog posts I've written, please click here.

If you'd like more direct and personal help with self-esteem, imposter syndrom, or anxiety or improving communication or balance in your relationship, please visit my website and schedule a free 15 minute consultation - www.brittaniedmillslmft.com.

I provide online individual and couples counseling throughout California, South Carolina, and Florida. Coming soon to Tennessee.


Website - www.brittaniedmilslmft.com

Email - bdmills@brittaniedmillslmft.com

Phone - (925) 335-6122


Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Down & Dirty of DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy)

This past week, I had the opportunity to attend a 2 hour DBT 101 training, free through my employer.  As a Child Protective Services social worker, I have seen the benefits of DBT with various clients over the years and knew it had some very valuable tools, but I had never taken the time to learn much about it.  So I thought this was my opportunity.  Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) centers around the fact that two opposing facts can be true at the same time.  For example - "I am tough, but I'm also gentle." or my favorite, "I'm doing the best I can, and I can do better."  DBT is an evidence based practice that stems from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and was originally created to treat Borderline Personality Disorder. I learned about the Bio-Social Theory around DBT.  Bio - there is a biological vulnerability to emotions and Social - an invalidating environment that communicates that what you're feeling, thinking or doing doesn't make sense. 
Post a Comment
Read more

Behind the Couch: Understanding Why Therapists Opt Out of Insurance

  Behind the Couch:  Understanding Why Therapists Opt Out of Insurance As a therapist, I've noticed an increase in the number of people who want/need to use their insurance benefits to receive therapy.  And, to be honest, when I first sought out a therapist for myself, I felt the exact same way.   I understand.  Therapy can be a very costly investment.  But that's how you have to think about it - as an investment...in yourself and your mental and emotional well-being. But working as a therapist, I've learned that there are some definite reasons that you may not want to use your inusrance benefits. Let me take a few moments to explain. Insurance Requires a Diagnosis In order to use your insurance for therapy benefits, the insurance company requires that the providing therapist give a diagnosis.  That means that once you enter into therapy using your health insurance benefits, there is a documented record of a mental health diagnosis on file for you.  And that record may stay
Post a Comment
Read more

Empty Nest

  Empty Nest - Now What? Your children are all grown and have moved out and are moving on with their own lives.  The constant influx of people in the house or at the dinner table has disappeared.  The hustle and bustle has died down.  And now you're left with just the two of you. Now it's time to rediscover yourselves as individuals, and maybe even more importantly, as a married couple.  The last several decades or more have been devoted to rearing your children and launching them into adulthood.  But now you find yourself with extra time and maybe extra energy on your hands. Leisure Time Maybe now that all the children's activities and obligations have gone, you find yourself with a lot of extra time.  Instead of dwelling on the absence of your children, focus on things you can now do with that time.  Take a nap.  Read a book.  Learn to cook or bake.  Sign up for some local classes or groups.  Or maybe you need something more practical.  You can do something productive lik
Post a Comment
Read more