This Therapist's Therapy

  Spectrum Unveiled: Therapeutic Insights on Parenting Through ADHD & Autism Discoveries  In light of our recent podcast episode about ADHD & Autism,  I chose to write a blog post about it. As a therapist, I have walked alongside many families on their journey of discovering and embtracing neurodivergence.  I understand the range of emotions that parents feel during this experience.  I recognize that it is a pivotal moment that marks the beginning of a unique journey, filled with challenges, triumphs, and abundance of love, grace, and compassion. In this blog post, I offer some guidance and support as you navigate this new experience. Allow Yourself to Feel It's natural to experience a whilrwind of emotions, from shock, to denial, to confusion, anger, sadness, and maybe even relief.  Go ahead, allow yourself to feel all the emotions - the whole range.  Take time to talk about and process your feelings without judgement.  It's okay to have lots of different feelings.  Bu

  Thinking About Retirement? Raise your hand if you're already thinking abour Retirement?  Yeah, me too!   But not from therapy - I LOVE that job!  Being a therapist is my therapy. Part of my work as a therapist is to help people through various life transitions.  It's one of the things I love best to help people with.  But there's one of life's transitions that often gets overlooked, and that's the transition into retirement.  People are quick to think about or even plan for other life transitions, such as parenthood, empty nest, or career planning, but they forget to think about retirement. Some of you may be approaching this significant milestone, and as you do, it's important to prioritize your mental and emotional health, not just your financial future.  In this blog post, I'll share some insights and tips to help you prepare for a meaningful and fulfilling retirement. Reflect on Your Career It's important to take time to reflect on your own life an

  Empty Nest - Now What? Your children are all grown and have moved out and are moving on with their own lives.  The constant influx of people in the house or at the dinner table has disappeared.  The hustle and bustle has died down.  And now you're left with just the two of you. Now it's time to rediscover yourselves as individuals, and maybe even more importantly, as a married couple.  The last several decades or more have been devoted to rearing your children and launching them into adulthood.  But now you find yourself with extra time and maybe extra energy on your hands. Leisure Time Maybe now that all the children's activities and obligations have gone, you find yourself with a lot of extra time.  Instead of dwelling on the absence of your children, focus on things you can now do with that time.  Take a nap.  Read a book.  Learn to cook or bake.  Sign up for some local classes or groups.  Or maybe you need something more practical.  You can do something productive lik

  Shared Child Custody During the Holidays The holidays are supposed to be a fun, festive, and happy time of year.  Children especially look forward to Christmas with all the activities, food and toys.  And, from my perspective, Christmas should be a magical experience for children. However, for families navigating through the complexities of shared custody, it often ends up being a time of sadness, stress, and emotional challenges.  As a Marriage & Family Therapist, and in my many years working in the publich child welfare system, I've witnessed many of the unique dynamics and feelings that come into play during the  holidays. Understanding the Impact Shared custody arrangements require a delicate balance on a normal balance, and moreso during the holidays.  Pehaps this is your first year of share custody and you're not sure how to best manage the holiday season.  There is a need for effective communication and cooperation between the parents. This is where is gets tough,

Navigating Black Friday:  A Therapist's Perspective Black Friday is just a few short days away.  Many of you have probably already planned out your early morning shopping route and which bargains you're going to chase.   And while Black Friday can be fun and we can find lots of great deals, I encourage families to approach Black Friday mindfully to ensure that the pursuit of bargains doesn't overshadow the importance of family connection and well-being.  And that can be well-being as far as physical, mental, or financial health.   Communication is Key: Open and honest communication is the foundations of any healthy relationships.   Before diving into the madness of Black Friday and getting caught up in the craziness of the crowds, have a family discussion about expectations,, budget consraints, and priorities.  By doing this ahead of time, you will preent conflicts, melt downs, or disappointments later while you're out.  Being out on Black Friday is already stressful, s

  Thanksgiving 2023: Nurturing Gratitude & Connection As I write this, we are just a few days away from Thanksgiving.  And it's always an opportune time to reflect on the importance of gratitude and connection with our families and friends.  As a Marriage & Family Therapist, I have seen first hand, the transformational power of fostering a sense of gratitude.  Gratittude helps our minds remain more positive. And, personally, my word for this year has been Friendship, which has caused me to think more about my own connections with family and friends. In this blog post, I'll share some insights and practical tips to help families develop a spirit of thankfulness during this holiday season, and throughout the year. Acknowledge the Journey Thanksgiving often marks a time of reflection.  It causes us to think about what we have and how we are blessed.  During your Thanksgiving celebration with your family, try acknowledging your collective journey throughout the year.  Refle

  Blended Families:  How to Have a Brady Bunch Family I recently asked my Facebook friends for blog post topic ideas.  And I'm not going to lie, when I saw this topic, I was hesitant.  I mean, who am I to say anything about having a successfuly blended family?  So, as I write this, I am being vulnerable and open.  But also know that I would LOVE to hear your stories about blended families, so please feel free to leave a comment. So, I was married for a little over 12 years and have two children from that marriage.  When my children were little and they talked about some of their friends who had single parents, I would remind them how lucky they were to have a mommy and a daddy at home.  Little did I know that wouldn't always be the case.   Yes, I am divorced.  I'm sorry if that comes as a surprise to you or if it makes you uncomfortable. As a Marriage & Family Therapist, I used to feel ashamed that I was divorced and constantly asked myself how I could be an effective m

  Asking For Help is NOT a Sign of Weakness, But Not Asking IS. Within our relationships, we often choose not to ask for help.  Perhaps it's because we are too proud, or maybe we don't want our partner to know that we don't know what we're doing.  Or maybe we don't want to feel like a burden to our partner. Whatever the reason you don't ask for help, you need to know right now that it is not a weakness to ask for help.  Asking for help is demonstrating humility and a desire to grow and learn.  And most people appreciate people who want to grow and learn.  One person can't know everything about everything, so we can all learn from others.   Think about all the areas in life in which we ask/get help from others - teachers, coaches, pastors, therapists...the list goes on.  But I bet you don't think that asking these people for help is weak.  So why do you think about asking others or asking your partner for help is weak. In fact, the Bible tells us in Prove

  How to Get Rid of ANTS! Does it sometimes feel like you can't do anything right?  Everything is going wrong?  You're a failure? Most likely that's due to what is known as Automatics Negative Thoughts - ANTs.  They are cynical, negative, or complaining thoughts that come to us unsolicited.  We all have them from time to time and they often hold us back from doing the the things we want to do.  They hold us back from success or happiness. But you don't have to be a victim of ANTs.  Here's a few tips to help you get rid of ANTs, once and for all: 1)     Recognize & Identify the Thought - the first step to combatting ANTs is to recognize when they're happening.  You may start to hear that catastrophizing voice in your head that causes doubt and uncertainty.  Once you hear that thought in your mind, give it a personality or a name.  Think of it as an outside entity.  Now that you've thinking of the negative thought in the third person, ask yourself if you w

  Fear Ruins Relationships We all have a past.  We all have baggage.  We come into relationships carrying not only the joys of the past, but all the hurts, as well.  It's those past hurts that come to haunt our current and future relationships. Say, for example, that you were cheated on in a previous relationship, despite what you felt were your best efforts to have a good relationship.  Fast forward to a few years later and you're starting a new relationship.  Guess what?  All the fear and all the insecurities of the past relationship creep right back in.  You find yourself questioning your partner's actions and motives.  You doubt their sincerity.  You imagine things happening that aren't.  The hurt from the past relationship is causing distrust in the current relationship. Once that begins to happen, we behave in ways that reflect our distrust.  We are no longer enjoy a happy, carefree relationship, but instead we're suspicious and accusatory.  That is not any wa