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Making the Most of Valentine's Day: Connection Over Perfection

 


Making the Most of Valentine's Day:     Connection Over Perfection

Valentine’s Day is just around the corner, and for many couples, this day brings a mix of excitement, pressure, and sometimes even dread. Whether you love it, hate it, or find yourself somewhere in between, Valentine’s Day is an opportunity to reflect on and celebrate the connections in your life—but it doesn’t have to be perfect to be meaningful. 

Whether you're dating, married, or currently single, you can still  make the most of Valentine's Day, in a way that works best for you.  

Here are a few ways to approach Valentine’s Day with intentionality and connection, no matter where you are in your relationship.

1. Set Realistic Expectations

Hollywood and social media have a way of turning Valentine’s Day into a spectacle of grand gestures.  Fancy dinners, huge boquets of flowers, chocolate, marriage proposals...the list goes on and on.
But let’s be real: Not everyone has the time, budget, or even desire to create an elaborate celebration.  And not everyone enjoys or appreciates and elaborate celebration or public expression of love. And that’s okay! 
Focus on what feels authentic to you and your relationship. It could be as simple as cooking dinner together, going for a walk, or writing a heartfelt note.  Or throughout the year, watch, listen and learn about the things are are important to the person you're in a relationship with.  And some people even like things more direct, so simply asking them if or how they'd like to celebrate Valentine's Day, can be meaningful.
The goal is connection, not perfection.

2. Understand Each Other’s Love Languages

I don't know if everyone has heard about the Five Love Languages.  If not, then I suggest picking up the book "The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts" by Dr. Gary Chapman.  It's a great book and can give you lots of insight about how your partner prefers to receive love and even how you prefer to receive love.  Perhaps your partner is familiar with the book or has taken the online quiz.  While you might have an idea of how your partner prefers to receive love, if they're familiar with the Love Languages, then you could even ask them what their love language is.  That, in and of itself, may be impressive to them.
But whether you've read it, heard about it, or not, Valentine’s Day can be a lot more meaningful if you tailor it to your partner’s love language. 
Is your partner someone who cherishes words of affirmation? A thoughtful card might mean the world to them, even more than a gift. 
Do they value acts of service? Surprise them by tackling a chore they dislike, without being asked.  This gesture could be as good as gold for someone who values acts of service.
When you align your efforts with what makes your partner feel loved, it creates a deeper impact.

3. Prioritize Quality Time

Life is busy, and for many couples, uninterrupted quality time can be a rare commodity, especially for married couples with young children or young couples at the height of their careers. 
If you are one of those people or couples who are super busy, use Valentine’s Day as an excuse to carve out intentional time together. Put your phones away, turn off distractions, and focus on being present with each other. Even a 30-minute conversation over coffee can feel special when you’re truly engaged.  Ask your partner or find out what quality time looks like to them, and then make an effort to provide that for them.

4. Celebrate in a Way That Reflects You as a Couple

Againt, Hollywood and social media have, for a long time, painted a picture of what Valentine's Day looks like.  Or should I say, what THEY want it to look like, in order to profit from it.  
But Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to look like a candlelit dinner at an expensive restaurant, a huge box of chocolates, jewelry, or any other grand gesture. Valentine's Day is whatever you choose to make of it.  Maybe you’d rather binge-watch your favorite show together, take a day trip to explore a nearby town, or revisit the place where you had your first date. The point is to make it personal and meaningful for you.

5. Reframe the Day if You’re Single or Struggling

Contrary to popular belief, Valentine’s Day isn’t just for couples. It can be a beautiful opportunity to celebrate love in all its forms—whether that’s spending time with friends, expressing gratitude for family, or practicing self-love. If you’re feeling lonely or disconnected, consider making this day about showing yourself compassion and care.

6. Keep the Bigger Picture in Mind

One day doesn’t define a relationship. And you may decide that Valentine's Day is too hyped anyway.  If Valentine’s Day doesn’t go as planned, don’t sweat it. What matters most is how you show up for each other throughout the year.  There is nothing that says we have to do something special on Valentine's Day or even acknowledge it at all.  After all, restaurants will be busy, card shops will be empty, and your relationship still continues.  Think of February 14th as a reminder to nurture your connection every day, not just once a year. 


Valentine’s Day can be a lovely opportunity to pause and appreciate the relationships that matter most to us, whether they're romantic relationships, friendships, or family. Whether you’re planning an elaborate celebration or keeping it low-key, the heart of the day lies in genuine connection. Let go of the pressure to make it perfect and focus on what truly matters: showing love, kindness, and gratitude for the people in your life.

So, how will you celebrate this year?  Feel free to share in the comments.

Whatever you choose, make it meaningful, make it yours, and most importantly, enjoy it.



If you'd like to see any of my previous blog posts, please click here.

If you'd like to receive individual or couples counseling, please visit my website and schedule a free 15 minute consultation - www.brittaniedmillslmft.com.


I provide online individual and couples counseling throughout California, Tennessee, South Carolina, and Florida.


Instagram - @brittaniedmillslmft
Phone - (925) 335-6122


If you'd like to listen to the Married & Confused Podcast episode on this topic, please click here.

You can also listen to all the episodes of the Married & Confused Podcast on your favorite podcast platform by searching for Married & Confused Podcast.


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