This Therapist's Therapy

  How to Get Rid of ANTS! Does it sometimes feel like you can't do anything right?  Everything is going wrong?  You're a failure? Most likely that's due to what is known as Automatics Negative Thoughts - ANTs.  They are cynical, negative, or complaining thoughts that come to us unsolicited.  We all have them from time to time and they often hold us back from doing the the things we want to do.  They hold us back from success or happiness. But you don't have to be a victim of ANTs.  Here's a few tips to help you get rid of ANTs, once and for all: 1)     Recognize & Identify the Thought - the first step to combatting ANTs is to recognize when they're happening.  You may start to hear that catastrophizing voice in your head that causes doubt and uncertainty.  Once you hear that thought in your mind, give it a personality or a name.  Think of it as an outside entity.  Now that you've thinking of the negative thought in the third person, ask yourself if you w

  Tips for Maintaining Healthy Boundaries I usually add a new blog post on Wednesdays, but this past week, I was under the weather, so I wasn't able to do so.  At first, I felt a little badly that I had missed posting a blog, but then I realized or remembered that I had to draw a boundary for myself.  We can't burn the candle at both ends and expect for that to be sustainable.  And we can't help others, if we aren't first taking care of ourselves...kind of like the oxygen masks on an airplane.  The flight attendants always tell you to put your oxygen mask on first, and then attend to others.  We are of no help to others if we aren't breathing.  So, because I wasn't feeling well, I drew my own boundary and realized I had to prioritize my own health, ahead of posting a blog.  After all, the blog ain't going anywhere! But that got me thinkin about healthy boundaries, so I decided to provide some tips for (establishing) and maintaining healthy boundaries. Person

How to Overcome Dental Anxiety Do you get nervous when it's getting close to your next dental appointment?  Or even worse, do you not even schedule appointments because you're too scared? But at the same time, you know you need to have a check up and cleaning, or you might even have some teeth that are hurting. Below is a video of a few tips you can use to overcome dental anxiety. If you'd like more direct and personal help with anxiety, please visit my website and schedule a free 15 minute consultation - www.brittaniedmillslmft.com . I provide online counseling throughout California and Florida. Website - www.brittaniedmilslmft.com Email - bdmills@brittaniedmillslmft.com Phone - (925) 335-6122  

  In Part 4  of this series on How to Manage Anxiety ,  we talked about Exercise/Movement. What types of exercies or movement did YOU do this week?  Tell us about it! Over the next few weeks, I'm going to share some tips on how to manage anxiety Maybe you're in a Leadership or Executive Level and you're excelling at your job, but deep inside, every day is a battle within yourself.  Maybe you're a wife, mom, and career woman, and sometimes things just get overwhelming. Today we'll look at an ongoing way in which you can manage your anxiety - Practicing Gratitude. I can't say enough on how much an "Attitude of Gratitude" can really help with mood and anxiety.   It sounds so simple. I encourage you, each morning, as you start the day, to think of three things you are grateful for.  These can be small things or bigger things.  From, "I'm grateful for my cat, because he likes to snuggle on my lap while I watch t.v.". to "I am grateful for

  In  Part 3  of this series on How to Manage Anxiety ,  we talked about The 5-4-3-2-1 Exercise. Drop a comment below to share how the exercise helped you or what you noticed when you tried it. Over the next few weeks, I'm going to share some tips on how to manage anxiety Maybe you're in a Leadership or Executive Level and you're excelling at your job, but deep inside, every day is a battle within yourself.  Maybe you're a wife, mom, and career woman, and sometimes things just get overwhelming. Today we'll look at something you can do on a regular basis OR in the moment that anxiety strikes - Exercise/Movement. You may have heard that exercise releases endorphins, which are natural chemicals in our body that make us feel good.  Endorphins are helpful in reducing stress and anxiety, as well as strengthening feelings of positivity.  It is often considered a natural and healthy "high".  Instead of taking substances to fight your feelings of anxiety, you can

  How to Manage Anxiety - Part 3 In Part 2 of this series on How to Manage Anxiety ,  we talked about Positive Visualization. Drop a comment below to share how the exercises helped you or what you noticed when you tried them. Over the next few weeks, I'm going to share some tips on how to manage anxiety, especially for those who are considered High Performers.  Maybe you're in a Leadership or Executive Level and you're excelling at your job, but deep inside, every day is a battle within yourself. Together, we'll look at some strategies you can use in the moment of anxiety, that no one else even has to be aware of.  Because, let's face it, you don't want everyone else to know just how anxious and uncertain you're feeling. The next tool is the 5-4-3-2-1 Exercise.  I know you're probably asking, "What the heck is that?" It's sort of a way we can trick our mind or distract it from the thoughts that are causing anxiety. Again, these are things

How to Manage Anxiety  In Part 1 of this series on How to Manage Anxiety , we talked about breathing exercises.   Drop a comment below to share how the exercises helped you or what you noticed when you tried them. Over the next few weeks, I'm going to share some tips on how to manage anxiety, especially for those who are considered High Performers.  Maybe you're in a Leadership or Executive Level and you're excelling at your job, but deep inside, every day is a battle within yourself. Together, we'll look at some strategies you can use in the moment of anxiety, that no one else even has to be aware of.  Because, let's face it, you don't want everyone else to know just how anxious and uncertain you're feeling. The next tool is Positive Visualization .  I know it sounds kind of weird and "woo woo", but trust me, it works.  I had a coach teach it to me a few years back, and it was helpful. So, this is something you do prior to going into a stressful s

  How to Manage Anxiety - Part 1 Over the next few weeks, I'm going to share some tips on how to manage anxiety, especially for those who are considered High Performers.  Maybe you're in a Leadership or Executive Level and you're excelling at your job, but deep inside, every day is a battle within yourself. Together, we'll look at some strategies you can use in the moment of anxiety, that no one else even has to be aware of.  Because, let's face it, you don't want everyone else to know just how anxious and uncertain you're feeling. So, we'll start simple.  Breathing exercises. First, you'll inhale for 5 seconds, taking a nice big, deep breath.  Then you'll exhale for 5 seconds, preferably through your mouth, letting out as much air as possible.  And then you'll repeat this for about 1 minute.  If you're able to or comfortable with it, you can even close your eyes while you do this, to help minimize distractions. What you'll begin to n

  Thank you for continuing to join me on this series about respect.  This week, I had a few moments with my husband when I realized that, in that moment, I was not following some of these tips about respect.  I found myself interrupting him and not always considering his opinion.  So, again, I'm glad that we can take this the journey together. Let's look at the next 10 tips: 51)  Make the other person's favorite meals regularly (This applies primarily to married couples or domestic partners) This is a way to show that you have listened.  You know what they like.  Also, they often say that food is the way to a person's heart.  If that's true ,then making the other person's favorite meals is a way show your respect. 52)  Ask the other person for advice on the things you're dealing with. This goes along with some of the other things we've discussion, but if you're having a hard time with something or tryin to make a difficult decision, ask the other per

  Good work so far!  I'm glad you've come back for Part 3.  You're going to be glad you decided to take this journey. This week you'll use the information you've gathered about yourself over the past 2 weeks to develop your confidence.  I bet you're wondering how your values, barriers, and next steps lead to confidence.   Here's the thing, now that you know who you are and what's important to you, and hopefully broken down the barriers that you identified and have taken the steps to make the improvements you wanted to see in your life, you can live authentically and congruent with who you are.  You are no longer living behind a mask of uncertainty or insecurity! Take a moment to think about that!!  You've done a lot of work to get here!  Give yourself a pat on the back!   So much of confidence simply comes from knowing yourself and your values. Confidence is defined as "the feeling or belief that one can rely on someone or something; the state o

  Today is the last part of this series on Finding Yourself, Your Confidence, and Your Purpose.  I hope you're feeling a little excited about this week's topic.  This is the fun, yet kind of scary part.  So let's talk about finding your purpose. You discovered your values, what's important to you.  You determined the meaning and maybe the origin of your values, what really makes you, "you".  You discerned your barriers, what's gotten in the way of living out your values and who you were meant to be.  And you decided the next steps, the things you committed to doing to make a positive difference in your life.  In doing these things, you were able to figure out how to live authentically and congruent with your beliefs and values, which enables you to have a confidence in yourself that you may have never experienced before.   So, I'm wondering if, while doing all this work, you began to see a theme bubble up?  Were there ideas or feelings that came up acr

  Welcome back!  How'd it go in doing that bit of self-exploration last week?  I hope it gave you some insight about yourself.  Now we'll use that to draw from, to begin discovering the barriers to living out your values and what your next steps are. Step #3:  Discern the Barriers Now that you've discovered your values and determined what's important to you and why, it's time to take a hard look at yourself and discern your barriers.  These are often barriers that you've put up because of fear of failure, fear of rejection, or fear of being hurt.  But in order to find your confidence, you need to confront the barriers and knock them down one by one.  Take your time and be honest. So let's revisit the list. Family Relationships - What has stopped you or currently stops you from having the type of family relationships you really want?  How have you contributed to these barriers?   Marriage/Intimate Relationships - What issues are you facing in your marriage or

Do you feel like you aren't quite sure who you are or what your purpose is?  Do you feel unheard, unappreciated, or under-valued? Or do you feel like you don't fit in?  Do you worry about what other people think of you? Chances are that you’ve been battling these feelings for so long, you’ve come to believe them yourself. There are patterns in place that you can't seem to break.  But you want to be YOU. If you’re ready to change those beliefs, break those patterns, learn to value yourself, and take control of your own life, keep reading.   You're going to begin to discover who you were really meant to be. And you're going to take the first steps toward being comfortable and confident with who you are. Step #1:  Discover Your Values Values are the things in life that you feel are most important.  While one person might value their family relationships above all else, another person might value their career.  Everyone's values are different, and there's no &qu