This Therapist's Therapy

  A common theme I hear when working with couples, is that there is a lack of communication between the two of them, or between them and their children.  They often feel like no one is on the same page.  And even moreso, they feel like they never have the time to talk because they are so busy. What I have found to be very successful with couples and families is to institute a weekly Family Meeting. This is a scheduled period of time that everyone sets aside to meet and talk together.  It creates a sense of purpose and unity that manay families struggle with.  It makes space for each person to share what's on their mind and for all parties to discuss topics that pertain to and effect the entire family.  It also tends to drastically improve communication amongst family members, thus creating more harmony. While there isn't a specific agenda for these meetings, it IS important to have an agenda.  The agenda for each family may look a little different.  But I've also found that

Today we're going to talk about "the 3 questions" and how to use them successfully in your marriage. The 3 Questions are - "What's Working Well?", "What Are You/We Worried About?", and "What Needs to Happen Next?"   These questions are best used in planned conversations within a marriage relationship.  I often recommend couples who are struggling with communication, to schedule a weekly Family Meeting, in which they designated a specific time each week that is set aside to talk to each other.  There are several components that make these conversations successful.  The main ingredients are The 3 Questions. The 1st question is "What's Working Well?"  This question should be used to start the conversation.  Human nature is to want to hear positive things - about ourselves and our relationships.  By starting the conversation this way, both people's defenses come down and they are more open to a productive conversations.  Th