Asking for Help is NOT a Sign of Weakness

 

Asking For Help is NOT a Sign of Weakness, But Not Asking IS.

Within our relationships, we often choose not to ask for help.  Perhaps it's because we are too proud, or maybe we don't want our partner to know that we don't know what we're doing.  Or maybe we don't want to feel like a burden to our partner.

Whatever the reason you don't ask for help, you need to know right now that it is not a weakness to ask for help.  Asking for help is demonstrating humility and a desire to grow and learn.  And most people appreciate people who want to grow and learn.  One person can't know everything about everything, so we can all learn from others.  

Think about all the areas in life in which we ask/get help from others - teachers, coaches, pastors, therapists...the list goes on.  But I bet you don't think that asking these people for help is weak.  So why do you think about asking others or asking your partner for help is weak.

In fact, the Bible tells us in Proverbs 1:5, "A wise man will hear, and will increase learning; and a man of understanding shall attain unto wise counsels."  In Proverbs 12:15 it says, "The way of fools seems right to them, but the wise listen to advice."   Wise people seek counsel from other people.  Wise people ask for help. 

Within a marriage, we are designed to resepct and submit to each other, which almost by definition means asking for help.  Within friendships, we are meant to uplift and support each other, and we don that by asking for help from each other.  Without asking, how would we know how to help?

If and when you choose not to ask for help, it's like saying that you don't trust the other person.  In a marriage, this can be very detrimental.  Lack of trust in a marriage can slowly kill the relationship.  Lack of trust tears the other person down until they no longer feel valuable, or heard, or respected.

So, the next time you think about NOT asking for help, think about the messages you're sending instead.  Consider that it sends the message that you aren't interested in learning or growing, and it sends the message that you don't trust the other person.  Ask yourself if those are the messages that you really want to convey.  And if they're not, then go ahead and ASK.  

If you'd like to read other blog posts I've written, please click here.

If you'd like more direct and personal help with self-esteem, imposter syndrom, or anxiety or improving communication or balance in your relationship, please visit my website and schedule a free 15 minute consultation - www.brittaniedmillslmft.com.

I provide online individual and couples counseling throughout Tennessee, California, South Carolina, and Florida.

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