Skip to main content

Asking for Help is NOT a Sign of Weakness

 




Asking For Help is NOT a Sign of Weakness, But Not Asking IS.

Within our relationships, we often choose not to ask for help.  Perhaps it's because we are too proud, or maybe we don't want our partner to know that we don't know what we're doing.  Or maybe we don't want to feel like a burden to our partner.

Whatever the reason you don't ask for help, you need to know right now that it is not a weakness to ask for help.  Asking for help is demonstrating humility and a desire to grow and learn.  And most people appreciate people who want to grow and learn.  One person can't know everything about everything, so we can all learn from others.  

Think about all the areas in life in which we ask/get help from others - teachers, coaches, pastors, therapists...the list goes on.  But I bet you don't think that asking these people for help is weak.  So why do you think about asking others or asking your partner for help is weak.

In fact, the Bible tells us in Proverbs 1:5, "A wise man will hear, and will increase learning; and a man of understanding shall attain unto wise counsels."  In Proverbs 12:15 it says, "The way of fools seems right to them, but the wise listen to advice."   Wise people seek counsel from other people.  Wise people ask for help. 

Within a marriage, we are designed to resepct and submit to each other, which almost by definition means asking for help.  Within friendships, we are meant to uplift and support each other, and we don that by asking for help from each other.  Without asking, how would we know how to help?

If and when you choose not to ask for help, it's like saying that you don't trust the other person.  In a marriage, this can be very detrimental.  Lack of trust in a marriage can slowly kill the relationship.  Lack of trust tears the other person down until they no longer feel valuable, or heard, or respected.

So, the next time you think about NOT asking for help, think about the messages you're sending instead.  Consider that it sends the message that you aren't interested in learning or growing, and it sends the message that you don't trust the other person.  Ask yourself if those are the messages that you really want to convey.  And if they're not, then go ahead and ASK.  

If you'd like to read other blog posts I've written, please click here.

If you'd like more direct and personal help with self-esteem, imposter syndrom, or anxiety or improving communication or balance in your relationship, please visit my website and schedule a free 15 minute consultation - www.brittaniedmillslmft.com.

I provide online individual and couples counseling throughout California, South Carolina, and Florida. Coming soon to Tennessee.


Website - www.brittaniedmilslmft.com

Email - bdmills@brittaniedmillslmft.com

Phone - (925) 335-6122

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Down & Dirty of DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy)

This past week, I had the opportunity to attend a 2 hour DBT 101 training, free through my employer.  As a Child Protective Services social worker, I have seen the benefits of DBT with various clients over the years and knew it had some very valuable tools, but I had never taken the time to learn much about it.  So I thought this was my opportunity.  Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) centers around the fact that two opposing facts can be true at the same time.  For example - "I am tough, but I'm also gentle." or my favorite, "I'm doing the best I can, and I can do better."  DBT is an evidence based practice that stems from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and was originally created to treat Borderline Personality Disorder. I learned about the Bio-Social Theory around DBT.  Bio - there is a biological vulnerability to emotions and Social - an invalidating environment that communicates that what you're feeling, thinking or doing doesn't make sense. 
Post a Comment
Read more

Behind the Couch: Understanding Why Therapists Opt Out of Insurance

  Behind the Couch:  Understanding Why Therapists Opt Out of Insurance As a therapist, I've noticed an increase in the number of people who want/need to use their insurance benefits to receive therapy.  And, to be honest, when I first sought out a therapist for myself, I felt the exact same way.   I understand.  Therapy can be a very costly investment.  But that's how you have to think about it - as an investment...in yourself and your mental and emotional well-being. But working as a therapist, I've learned that there are some definite reasons that you may not want to use your inusrance benefits. Let me take a few moments to explain. Insurance Requires a Diagnosis In order to use your insurance for therapy benefits, the insurance company requires that the providing therapist give a diagnosis.  That means that once you enter into therapy using your health insurance benefits, there is a documented record of a mental health diagnosis on file for you.  And that record may stay
Post a Comment
Read more

Empty Nest

  Empty Nest - Now What? Your children are all grown and have moved out and are moving on with their own lives.  The constant influx of people in the house or at the dinner table has disappeared.  The hustle and bustle has died down.  And now you're left with just the two of you. Now it's time to rediscover yourselves as individuals, and maybe even more importantly, as a married couple.  The last several decades or more have been devoted to rearing your children and launching them into adulthood.  But now you find yourself with extra time and maybe extra energy on your hands. Leisure Time Maybe now that all the children's activities and obligations have gone, you find yourself with a lot of extra time.  Instead of dwelling on the absence of your children, focus on things you can now do with that time.  Take a nap.  Read a book.  Learn to cook or bake.  Sign up for some local classes or groups.  Or maybe you need something more practical.  You can do something productive lik
Post a Comment
Read more