This Therapist's Therapy

  Welcome back!  How'd it go in doing that bit of self-exploration last week?  I hope it gave you some insight about yourself.  Now we'll use that to draw from, to begin discovering the barriers to living out your values and what your next steps are. Step #3:  Discern the Barriers Now that you've discovered your values and determined what's important to you and why, it's time to take a hard look at yourself and discern your barriers.  These are often barriers that you've put up because of fear of failure, fear of rejection, or fear of being hurt.  But in order to find your confidence, you need to confront the barriers and knock them down one by one.  Take your time and be honest. So let's revisit the list. Family Relationships - What has stopped you or currently stops you from having the type of family relationships you really want?  How have you contributed to these barriers?   Marriage/Intimate Relationships - What issues are you facing in your marriage or

Do you feel like you aren't quite sure who you are or what your purpose is?  Do you feel unheard, unappreciated, or under-valued? Or do you feel like you don't fit in?  Do you worry about what other people think of you? Chances are that you’ve been battling these feelings for so long, you’ve come to believe them yourself. There are patterns in place that you can't seem to break.  But you want to be YOU. If you’re ready to change those beliefs, break those patterns, learn to value yourself, and take control of your own life, keep reading.   You're going to begin to discover who you were really meant to be. And you're going to take the first steps toward being comfortable and confident with who you are. Step #1:  Discover Your Values Values are the things in life that you feel are most important.  While one person might value their family relationships above all else, another person might value their career.  Everyone's values are different, and there's no &qu

 Today is Word Mental Health Day, and boy, isn't 2020 a year that we could all use some mental health awareness?!  I'm finding that now, 7 months into this crazy pandemic, that folks' mental health is finally, really starting to take a hit.  After 7 months of being mostly cooped up at home, unable to go out much, unable to socialize with your friends and family, in person, and being stuck in front of a screen all day, we're beginning to experience some significant depression.  Not to mention, if you live anywhere on the West Coast, you've also had to deal with wildfires, smoke, and poor air quality. You deserve to be your whole self, every day.  Not just World Mental Health Day. Since 8th grade I have wanted to be.....known I would be....a therapist.  One of my greatest passions is to help people figure out just how to be their "whole self".   Sometimes this means helping you uncover and work through the experiences in your past that are causing roadblocks

Each year, after some time in prayer with God, I am given One Word for the year.  It's a word that I believe is given to me by God, to focus on, think about, reflect on, and improve on.  For 2020, my word is Patience.  And I think God gave me this word this year, because over the last few years, I have gotten more and more impatient.  And I believe God wants me to grow in this area. First, let me admit that I have not done well in focusing on my One Word this year, so I will likely need to continue with it again next year, along with whatever word God chooses for me for 2021. But as you know, the year 2020 has definitely been a year for trying one's patience.  I mean, the year started out well enough.  Seeming like it would be a good year.  In fact, my husband and I had planned and paid for a 2 week Hawaiian cruise for our 10th wedding anniversary...something we've been planning and looking forward to for several years.  That was supposed to take place in April.  I had even

I've been thinking a lot about gratitude lately.  I realize I tend to talk about it a lot with my clients, recommending it as a way to improve their mood.  I also realize that I try to practice it regularly, in my own life.  Gratitude is defined as "the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness."  There are a few things that come to mind when I think about gratitude.  First, I think about what a simple, inexpensive, yet profound gesture or attitude it is.  It doesn't usually cost but a minute or two of our time and can with done with no money.  So, why is it so hard to come by?  Why do people have such a hard time being grateful or showing gratitude?  Why is it so hard to appreciate something or someone?  Is it because we're now in a society, or age, in which so much is just expected.  Nothing seems sacred anymore.  It seems like people just think that they deserve anything and EVERYTHING they want or ask for.  And becaus

Welcome to this week's blog post.  Today I'm simply sharing what's on my mind after attending a full day training on Law & Ethics in Youth Services and Child Welfare. This past week I attended a full day of Law & Ethics for Youth Services & Child Welfare, via Zoom, no less.  Sounds riveting, doesn't it.  Well, I agree.  Usually a full day training of Law & Ethics is dry and boring, but mandatory for mental health clinicians to keep their license.  So, a necessary evil, of sorts.  However, this training was much different and much more interactive, keeping me engaged far better than any previous Law & Ethics trainings I've attended. Some of the topics that I have regularly struggled with, came up during this training, and the responses from the other attendees was interesting.  Such vignettes as:     "Your client is selling Girl Scout cookies and has an ambitious goal.  She asks if you will help her out   and buy a few boxes?  And asks if you

 When I embarked on the path of becoming a Marriage & Family Therapist, I had high hopes of helping people address the issues that impacted their relationships (and honestly, what issues DON'T impact relationships).  I had hopes of being able to help couples improve their communication, relationships, and marriages.  I wondered to myself if being the product of divorced parents would hinder my ability to adequately help other people with their relationships. But the more I thought about it, the more I saw it as an experience that could lend itself to helping others.  So, instead of shying away from it, I became more determined.  Then I got married myself and thought that would also help me better relate to clients and their relationship issues.  And I believe that to be true to this day.  However, as my first marriage began to slowly deteriorate, I began to once again question my ability to provide good couples counseling.  I mean, after all, I was in a failing marriage.  And w