Attitude of Gratitude = Increased Happiness

I've been thinking a lot about gratitude lately.  I realize I tend to talk about it a lot with my clients, recommending it as a way to improve their mood.  I also realize that I try to practice it regularly, in my own life.  Gratitude is defined as "the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness." 

There are a few things that come to mind when I think about gratitude.  First, I think about what a simple, inexpensive, yet profound gesture or attitude it is.  It doesn't usually cost but a minute or two of our time and can with done with no money.  So, why is it so hard to come by?  Why do people have such a hard time being grateful or showing gratitude?  Why is it so hard to appreciate something or someone?  Is it because we're now in a society, or age, in which so much is just expected.  Nothing seems sacred anymore.  It seems like people just think that they deserve anything and EVERYTHING they want or ask for.  And because of that, they disregard gratitude and appreciation.  Gratitude is one of the easiest things to give, yet one of the things that is given the least.

Secondly, I think about the humility it sometimes take to express gratitude to another person.  Sometimes our pride gets in the way and makes it hard to express appreciation and gratitude to someone who has done something nice for us or who has taught us something.  I can think of times in my life where I was upset or bitter about something that happened...someone got a promotion I felt I deserved, someone got to develop a program I was passionate about, and I'm sure some other examples I can't remember.  But what helped me get past those things was personal reflection and humility.  And I have consistently found that when I go through that process, of humility, enough to expression sincere gratitude to the other person, I experience a peace and satisfaction that I can't describe.

Over the last few days, I've been taking an online course about Overcoming Disabling Thoughts: Applying Positive Psychology.  And gratitude is just one of many strategies of Positive Psychology.  But I also learned that there have been empirical studies done on the effects of gratitude, on both the giver and the received.  Giving AND receiving gratitude both increase levels of happiness by significant numbers.  This can be personal happiness, happiness and satisfaction at work, or happiness in our relationships.

Some of the suggestions for using gratitude to improve your mood are:

• Counting Your Blessings/Listing 3 Good Things - this can be writing a list of things that are going well in your life or things that you are grateful for.  This works because it calls these things into our consciousness, instead of allowing them to fade into the day to day stuff we're used to or take for granted.  It allows you to reconstrue things in a positive light.
• Gratitude Letter or Visit -  this is writing a letter to someone you're grateful for, explaining why you're grateful and what you appreciate about them.  But don't mail it or email it, physically either take it to them or call them and read it to them.  It's amazing the difference it makes for both the giver and the receiver.  And it usually helps to strengthen the relationship with that person, as well.
• Gratitude Journal - similar to the listing of good things, this is a journal or diary in which you reflect on things you're grateful for, describing them in detail.  Anytime we write things down, they become more memorable AND we can always go back and re-read them.  So this improves mood in the moment AND later when you re-read them.  Studies have shown that doing this can reduce blood pressure, improve overall health, and lead to better peer relationships. 

I use the concept of expressing gratitude at my job all the time, making sure that I take the time to thank people, appreciate people for who they are and what they do.  I notice small things and highlight them, unlike most everyone else who takes those things for granted.  I also take time to write small notes of appreciation to co-workers and managers.  These notes often arrive at just the right time and provide the recipient with a much needed smile.  And again, it's one of the simplest things I can do, but it makes a huge difference.

I also use the concept of expressing gratitude with my therapy clients, teaching them the value of gratitude and how it changes our mind and body over time, to be more positive and to feel more happiness.  

So I encourage you all to begin some type of gratitude practice for yourself and see if you don't find yourself happier over time!

f you'd like more direct and personal help in improving your mood or self-esteem or if you'd like help with improving communication or harmony in your relationships, please visit my website and schedule a free 15 minute consultation - www.brittaniedmillslmft.com.

I provide online couples and individual counseling throughout California, Tennessee, South Carolina, and Florida.

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