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Steps to Finding Yourself, Your Confidence, & Your Purpose - Part 1



Do you feel like you aren't quite sure who you are or what your purpose is?  Do you feel unheard, unappreciated, or under-valued? Or do you feel like you don't fit in?  Do you worry about what other people think of you?
Chances are that you’ve been battling these feelings for so long, you’ve come to believe them yourself. There are patterns in place that you can't seem to break.  But you want to be YOU.
If you’re ready to change those beliefs, break those patterns, learn to value yourself, and take control of your own life, keep reading.  
You're going to begin to discover who you were really meant to be. And you're going to take the first steps toward being comfortable and confident with who you are.


Step #1:  Discover Your Values
Values are the things in life that you feel are most important.  While one person might value their family relationships above all else, another person might value their career.  Everyone's values are different, and there's no "right" set of values. Values are unique to each individual.  Understanding your values will help you better focus on what's important to you.
Spend some time thinking about what's important to you.  Consider the following areas of your life and rate each on a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being "not important" and 10 being "most important":
  • Family Relationships (other than marriage)
  • Marriage/Intimate Relationships
  • Parenting
  • Friendships/Social Relationships
  • Recreation/Relaxation/Free Time
  • Work/Career/Education
  • Spirituality
  • Community/Citizenship
  • Physical Health & Well-Being
When you review your ratings, you will begin to see which things are most important to you and you can begin building your self-identity and self-confidence around those things.

Step #2: Determine The Meaning of Your Values
Now that you've rated yourself in these areas, you are beginning to see what's important to you.  Now it's time to take a deeper look at each of those areas.  Ask yourself the questions below, about each category.  Take some time to really think about your answers.  The more thought you give it and the more truthful you are, the better you can find yourself and your purpose.  By answering these questions, you'll start to pinpoint how you want to be - your desired future.  
  • Family Relationships - Ideally, what would family relationships be like for you?  How would you like those relationships to look? Do you want to spend more or less time with family?  
  • Marriage/Intimate Relationships - How would you describe your ideal marriage or intimate relationship?  In your ideal relationship, how would your spouse or partner act?  In your ideal relationship, how would you treat your spouse or partner?  Are there couples who's relationship you admire?  What about their relationship do you admire?
  • Parenting - Which of your personal qualities can you use in being a parent?  How would your child/ren describe you as a parent?  How would you describe your ideal parent/child relationship?  What are some things you appreciate/d about your parents?  What are some things you dislike/d about your parents?  Why?
  • Friendships/Social Relationships - What type of friendships do you want to have?  How would you describe a good friendship?  How much time do you want to devote to friendships?  
  • Work/Career/Education - What is important to you about your work/career or your education?  How would you like others to view you in your professional role?  How much time and energy do you spend on your work/career or education?
  • Recreation/Relaxation/Free Time - What do you like to do in your free time?  If time and money were no object, what are your ideal forms of recreation and relaxation?  Why are recreation and relaxation important to you?  Do you prefer individual activities or group activities?  Alone or with others?
  • Spirituality - What does spirituality mean to you?  In what ways is spirituality important to you?
  • Community/Citizenship - How would you like to contribute to your community or the world?  What does it mean to be a good member of your community?  Are there any causes that are important to you?  Why?
  • Health & Well-Being - Ideally, how would you take care of your physical health & well-being?  Why is physical health important to you?  What does being physically healthy look like to you?  What does well-being mean to you?  And how does it look?
Take you time with these questions.  Really consider your answers.  Be as descriptive as you can.  It will make the next steps easier.  These are the goals you will work toward.  

In next week's blog post, you'll take the next step toward finding yourself and your purpose.  Trust me, these first few steps are important.  Don't skip them and don't skim over them.  In order to find yourself and your purpose, you have to figure out exactly what's important to you and why?

Feel free to drop a comment or a question.  I'm happy to respond.

If you think you need help navigating these steps or someone to guide you through them, I can help.  Visit my website to schedule a free 15 minute consultation.


Intagram - @brittaniedmillslmft


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