This Therapist's Therapy

  Why Go to Couples Counseling? - Part 1 While mental health awareness has improved, especially over the last few years through the pandemic.  And some of the sitgma around therapy has decreased.  But so many people still wonder why they should participate in couples counseling. In my mind, there are several "levels" of couples' counseling. 1)  Dating Relationships 2)  Pre-Marital Counseling 3)  Marriage/Couples Counseling 4)  Stage of Life Couples Counseling (Empty Nest) 5)  When Things Aren't Working Over the next few weeks, I'll discuss each of these levels in detail.  You may find that this leads to more questions.   If that happens for you, please leave a comment, visit my website, or send me an email. So, let's get started... Dating Relationships Some of you may not be ready for marriage just yet, but you're on dating sites, you're checking out the options, and having fun.  That doesn't mean that you shouldn't invest in efforts to improve

  Tips for Maintaining Healthy Boundaries I usually add a new blog post on Wednesdays, but this past week, I was under the weather, so I wasn't able to do so.  At first, I felt a little badly that I had missed posting a blog, but then I realized or remembered that I had to draw a boundary for myself.  We can't burn the candle at both ends and expect for that to be sustainable.  And we can't help others, if we aren't first taking care of ourselves...kind of like the oxygen masks on an airplane.  The flight attendants always tell you to put your oxygen mask on first, and then attend to others.  We are of no help to others if we aren't breathing.  So, because I wasn't feeling well, I drew my own boundary and realized I had to prioritize my own health, ahead of posting a blog.  After all, the blog ain't going anywhere! But that got me thinkin about healthy boundaries, so I decided to provide some tips for (establishing) and maintaining healthy boundaries. Person

How to Overcome Dental Anxiety Do you get nervous when it's getting close to your next dental appointment?  Or even worse, do you not even schedule appointments because you're too scared? But at the same time, you know you need to have a check up and cleaning, or you might even have some teeth that are hurting. Below is a video of a few tips you can use to overcome dental anxiety. If you'd like more direct and personal help with anxiety, please visit my website and schedule a free 15 minute consultation - www.brittaniedmillslmft.com . I provide online counseling throughout California and Florida. Website - www.brittaniedmilslmft.com Email - bdmills@brittaniedmillslmft.com Phone - (925) 335-6122  

  Couples Communication Tip #5 One of the biggest topics that bring folks to couples counseling is lack of communication.  This is the last tip in this series of Couples Communication Tips. Today's tip is about Oversharing .  This is about being direct and communicating with your partner about what you need. You've heard it before, that your partner can't read your mind.  Well, unfortunately, no matter how long you've been together, your partner cannot read your mind . In order to avoid some arguments, fights, and miscommunications, you need to overshare. Tell your partner exactly what you need or expect Wives, your husband doesn't automatically know you'd love for him to wash the dishes in the sink, or take out the trash when it's full.  Husbands, you wive doesn't automatically know that you'd like 30 to relax when you get home from work, just to unwind, before engaging with her and the kids.   Trust me, I've been a victim of this way of thinkin

  In Part 4  of this series on How to Manage Anxiety ,  we talked about Exercise/Movement. What types of exercies or movement did YOU do this week?  Tell us about it! Over the next few weeks, I'm going to share some tips on how to manage anxiety Maybe you're in a Leadership or Executive Level and you're excelling at your job, but deep inside, every day is a battle within yourself.  Maybe you're a wife, mom, and career woman, and sometimes things just get overwhelming. Today we'll look at an ongoing way in which you can manage your anxiety - Practicing Gratitude. I can't say enough on how much an "Attitude of Gratitude" can really help with mood and anxiety.   It sounds so simple. I encourage you, each morning, as you start the day, to think of three things you are grateful for.  These can be small things or bigger things.  From, "I'm grateful for my cat, because he likes to snuggle on my lap while I watch t.v.". to "I am grateful for

  Communication Tips for Couples #4 One of the biggest topics that bring folks to couples counseling is lack of communication.  Over the next few weeks, I'll be sharing some basic communication tips for couples.   Today's tip is about "I" Statements.  This can be a very effective communication strategy, because it doesn't put the other person immediately on the defensive.  And, in fact, it allows them to better understand the direct impact their words and actions have on their partner. "I" Statements go hand in hand with Reflective Listening , as we discussed last week.  In fact, it should be a common statement used in Reflective Listening.   The format of "I" Statements is: "I feel______when you______because_____ ." In the first blank, you insert how you feel, such as sad, worried, angry. You are identifying your feeling, without it feeling like blame. You are taking ownership and responsibility of your own feelings. For example,

  In  Part 3  of this series on How to Manage Anxiety ,  we talked about The 5-4-3-2-1 Exercise. Drop a comment below to share how the exercise helped you or what you noticed when you tried it. Over the next few weeks, I'm going to share some tips on how to manage anxiety Maybe you're in a Leadership or Executive Level and you're excelling at your job, but deep inside, every day is a battle within yourself.  Maybe you're a wife, mom, and career woman, and sometimes things just get overwhelming. Today we'll look at something you can do on a regular basis OR in the moment that anxiety strikes - Exercise/Movement. You may have heard that exercise releases endorphins, which are natural chemicals in our body that make us feel good.  Endorphins are helpful in reducing stress and anxiety, as well as strengthening feelings of positivity.  It is often considered a natural and healthy "high".  Instead of taking substances to fight your feelings of anxiety, you can