Communication Tips for Couples #4 One of the biggest topics that bring folks to couples counseling is lack of communication. Over the next few weeks, I'll be sharing some basic communication tips for couples. Today's tip is about "I" Statements. This can be a very effective communication strategy, because it doesn't put the other person immediately on the defensive. And, in fact, it allows them to better understand the direct impact their words and actions have on their partner. "I" Statements go hand in hand with Reflective Listening , as we discussed last week. In fact, it should be a common statement used in Reflective Listening. The format of "I" Statements is: "I feel______when you______because_____ ." In the first blank, you insert how you feel, such as sad, worried, angry. You are identifying your feeling, without it feeling like blame. You are taking ownership and responsibility of your own feelings. For example,