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Communication Tips for Couples #1

 


Communication Tips for Couples


One of the biggest topics that bring folks to couples counseling is lack of communication.  Over the next few weeks, I'll be sharing some basic communication tips for couples.  

We'll start really simple.  Each person in the relationship should start by making a list of all the positive things about the relationship with their partner.  And I mean everything.  Think back to when you first got together.  What did you love about the relationship then?  What made you take things to the next level?

Once you have your list of all the positive things about the relationship, I want you to go one step further.  Now make a list of all the positive things about your partner.  All the things you admire.  Again, think back to the beginning of the relationship, what things about your partner drew you to them in the first place?  What things made you fall in love with them?  

Now take a look at the list of the positive things about the relationship.  How many of those things still exist in the relationship now?  How many of them do not?

For the things that still exist, feed into them.  Strengthen them.  Develop them.  

If one of the things was that you enjoyed each other's company, then make active efforts to spend time together now.  Yeah, things might be busier now, but that doesn't mean the relationship should suffer.  Be proactive about planning time together, even if it's spending a few minutes talking every evening, taking quick walks together after work, or talking on the phone during the day.  Or better yet, schedule a date night at least once a month.  It doesn't have to be fancy or expensive, but need to be intentional time alone, set aside with your partner.

If one of the things was your partner's sense of humor, do things to encourage that again.  Tell your own corny jokes or just act silly together.  This may spark some of the long lost sense of humor.

Whatever those things are that still exist, highlight them!  Build on your existing strengths.

And the things that don't seem to exist anymore, ask yourself what changed?  Why don't those things happen anymore?  Is there something you can do to change that?

Communication take two people, but one person always has to get the ball rolling.  If you really want to improve the communication in your marriage, be the bigger person and change things.  Do something different.  Get back to basics.

Follow this blog for more tips in the coming weeks.

ONLINE COUNSELING IN CALIFORNIA

If you'd like to see previous blog posts on Fair Fighting Rules in Marriage, please check out https://brittaniedmillsmft.blogspot.com/2021/12/fair-fighting-rules-for-couples-wrap-up.html

If you'd like more direct and personal help with improving communication in your relationship, please visit my website and schedule a free 15 minute consultation - www.brittaniedmillslmft.com.

I provide online couples counseling throughout California.


Website - www.brittaniedmilslmft.com

Email - bdmills@brittaniedmillslmft.com

Phone - (925) 335-6122




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