This Therapist's Therapy

An "I" for an "I": 6 Steps to Using "I" Statements Effectively The Power of "I" Statements in Marriage  Communication is key to any healthy marriage. When couples argue or face challenges, the way they express their feelings and needs can either bring them closer together or drive them further apart. One of the most effective tools for improving communication and reducing conflict is the use of "I" statements. Here's why "I" statements are so powerful and how you can use them to strengthen your marriage. Understanding "I" Statements "I" statements are a communication tool that focuses on expressing and taking ownership of your own feelings, needs, and experiences rather than blaming or criticizing your partner. By starting your sentences with "I" rather than "You," you take responsibility for your emotions and reduce the chances of your partner feeling attacked or defensive.  I'm

  The Power of Presence Does it feel like you're living in a world that never seems to stop. Days are filled with to-do lists, notifications, and the ever-present pressure to be productive. In our fast-paced world, it’s easy to get caught up in the rush of daily life.  In this digital age, it's gotten easier and easier to "build" friendships and have meetings virtually, to the point that we've been lulled into thinking that the virtual interactions can truly replace in person interactions. We're often distracted by work, technology, and our own thoughts, leaving little room for genuine connection with others. Yet, one of the most profound gifts we can offer another person is our full, undivided presence. What Does It Mean to Be Present with Others? Being present with someone means truly engaging with them, mind and body. It’s about setting aside distractions, focusing on the person in front of you, and actively participating in the interaction. This kind of pr

  Mirror, Mirror: 9 Tips for Reflective Listening Reflective Listening: Tips for Couples in Therapy One of the main issues that couples come to therapy for is communication problems.  In fact, communication is often at the heart of many relationship challenges. Reflective Listening is a powerful tool that can help couples bridge gaps, deepen understanding, and rebuild trust. As a therapist, here are some tips I often share with couples to help them master the art of reflective listening in their relationship. 1. Prioritize a Calm and Open Environment For reflective listening to be effective, both partners need to feel safe and comfortable. This means setting aside time to talk when neither of you is rushed, distracted, or overly emotional. Choose a time when you can both focus on the conversation and each other. Pro Tip :Agree on a “talk time” where you can sit together without distractions like phones or TV. This dedicated time shows your commitment to really hearing each other.  I of

  A Therapist's Look at 8 Domains of Self Care In a recent episode of the Married & Confused Podcast, my colleague and I delved into the often-misunderstood concept of self-care. Many people think of self-care as indulgent activities like massages or sipping mimosas by the pool. While these can be enjoyable, they only scratch the surface. True self-care encompasses a holistic approach, addressing various aspects of our lives to enhance our overall well-being. Let’s take a deeper dive into the 8 domains of self-care that can help you nurture your mind, body, and soul. 1. Physical Well-Being The Physical Domain of self-care is foundational to our overall health. It includes activities that promote bodily health, such as maintaining a balanced diet, engaging in regular exercise, and ensuring you get adequate sleep. These elements are critical because they affect our energy levels, mood, and ability to cope with stress. Simple changes, like incorporating more fruits and vegetables

  The Importance of Disclosing Personal History to Your Spouse As I have asked around for blog post topics, this topic emerged several times. So, I thought we would go ahead and tackle this important subject. In every relationship, especially in marriages, open communication is key to building trust and deepening intimacy. Disclosing personal history to your spouse can be a daunting task, but it is a crucial aspect of fostering a strong and resilient partnership. This can include information anywhere from body count to childhood trauma and anything in between. This blog post explores the significance of sharing your past experiences, how it can enhance your relationship, and practical tips for making this disclosure a positive experience. Why Disclosing Personal History Matters Building Trust: Trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship. When you choose to disclose personal history, you demonstrate vulnerability. This openness invites your spouse to reciprocate, leading to a

                           Mental Illness in Marriage:                                Understanding & Managing One Partner's Diagnosis Marriage is often seen as a partnership built on love, trust, and companionship, but what happens when one partner is diagnosed with a mental health condition? The impact can be significant, affecting not just the individual but also the dynamic of the relationship. Understanding this influence and finding ways to manage it together is essential for maintaining a healthy marriage. The Ripple Effect of a Mental Health Diagnosis Receiving a mental health diagnosis can be scary, nor just for the person receiving the diagnosis, but for the entire family. When one partner receives a mental health diagnosis—whether it’s depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, or another condition—it can reshape the foundation of the relationship. It's important for everyone to try to understand the diagnosis and how it may show up in the relationship and family. H