It's been great going through these tips with you, because it's also a reminder for myself. It's easy to slide into old habits, which aren't always the most respectful. And, with a new year coming, I'd like to make sure I focus on respecting others.
So, let's dive in...
31) Don't just launch into conversation, but say the other person's name and then ask if they have a few minutes to talk about something.
I am guilty of just launching into conversation ALL.THE. TIME. And when I stop and think about it, it really is very disrespectful, to the other person, and even to myself. We we just jump into talking, it assumes the other person is ready at attention, waiting for you to speak to them, hanging on your every word. It doesn't take into the account whatever the other person may be doing or involved in, but instead seems to demand that you are the only thing worthy of their time in that moment. It also shows a lack of respect for yourself, if you can believe that. Because it means that you don't even wait to make sure that you have the other person's attention, before talking. You must not respect yourself if you don't wait to make sure the other person is listening.
32) If the other person does not have time now, ask them if later would be better, of it they could suggest a time that works for them.
This shows the other person that you understand that their time AND your time are important. And it gives them the ability to choose a time that works for them.
33) Introduce other person at social gatherings, even if they've already met them, unless they are very good friends of yours with whom you both already see frequently. This helps the other person feel more comfortable in social situations with you.
This demonstrates to the person, and those you're introducing them to, that they are an important part of your life. It shows that they are not just along for the ride, but that you do want other people to know who they are and how they relate to you.
34) Apologize by saying, "I'm sorry I did XYZ, I feel terrible that I ABC and will try not to do it again."
This acknowledges the wrong thing you did, showing that your realize it was wrong, hurtful, or inappropriate AND shows that you feel remorse for doing it and how it made the other person feel. An apology generally means that you have taken the other person's feelings into account.
35) Don't be disagreeable.
You've known people like this. People that always have a negative response to everything. And how do you feel about those people. You probably don't want to be around them. In fact, you probably try to avoid them. So, obviously you don't have any respect for them. And by being disagreeable all the time, it shows a lack of respect for other people's ideas and happiness.
36) Actively agree with the other person frequently, saying "You're right! That's a great insight."
Like I've mentioned before, everyone enjoys being acknowledged and appreciated. But to earn respect, you can actively try to hear and learn from others' ideas. It shows respect and earns respect. And it really doesn't take much to do it.
37) Lean how the "stuff" from your childhood effects your perceptions and continue to work through those things to grow.
This is particularly important in marriage/partner relationships. Your "stuff" effects every aspect of your life, and if you aren't aware of them or seek to learn and grow from them, then how can you be a good model for others. And how can you be worthy of respect. Respect is earned by learning, changing and growing, not by being stagnant.
38) Contact the other person via email or text to let them know you're praying for them or thinking of them. Check in to see if they have any specific requests.
It's always good to know other people are thinking about you. And it's good to know that they remember the things that are on your mind or that are going on for you. This shows respect because it shows no only that they're on your mind, but that you are wishing them well, praying for them, or otherwise hoping to help. It's like humility or thinking of others above yourself.
39) Initiate intimacy.
Well, obviously this applies mostly to marriage or partner relationships, in the literal sense. However, intimacy doesn't have to mean "sex". Intimacy also means "close familiarity or friendship; closeness." This is o ne of the best ways to show love and respect. It shows the other person that you consider them a close friend.
40) Cultivate your own relationship with God.
If we cultivate our own relationship with God, then we are way more likely to treat others with kindness and respect. The closer we get to God, the more like Him we becomes.
The more I think about some of these tips, the more I realize that respect is just a deeper, stronger version of humility. It's showing the other person how important and valuable they are to you.
If you'd like, drop a comment on what respect means to you or your thoughts on any of these tips.
If you're interested in finding out more about respect, especially how to respect yourself and present yourself with self-respect, please reach out to me. I specialize in helping people develop and grow their self-respect, so that others will learn to respect them, as well.
You can also find my previous blog posts at This Therapist's Therapy: https://brittaniedmillsmft.blogspot.com/
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