Why Go to Couples Counseling? - Part 3
While mental health awareness has improved, especially over the last few years through the pandemic. And some of the sitgma around therapy has decreased. But so many people still wonder why they should participate in couples counseling.
In my mind, there are several "levels" of couples' counseling.
1) Dating Relationships
2) Pre-Marital Counseling
3) Marriage/Couples Counseling
4) Stage of Life Couples Counseling
5) When Things Aren't Working
Today, I'll talk about Marriage/Couples Counseling.
For many people, after being together or married for some time, things start to fall into habits and patterns. And we don't always notice right away because, let's face it, life gets busy. There's work, kids, activities and everything in between, and then suddenly you realize that you and your spouse/partner aren't really spending time together or aren't really talking. Maybe your intimacy has decreased. It's not that things are bad, it's just that things aren't quite "right". No matter what it is, you realize your marriage isn't quite what it used to be and you want to get it back on track.
Or for someone people, they want to be more proactive and make sure that their communication, intimacy, and trust remains on point.
Let's talk about your car for a moment. You buy a new car and everything is running perfectly. But then you hit around 5000 miles and it's time for its routine service, maintenance, and oil change. And you do this on a regular basis according to the manufacturer's recommended service intervals. You do this so that your car continues to run smoothly and so that no major issues appear. You do this to maintain the life expectancy of your car.
Marriages are much the same. We can't expect them to run perfectly if we don't do anything to maintain them. Couples Counseling can be the same thing. It is a way to maintain the health and well-being of your marriage. It's a way to address potential problems, before they become problems. It's a way to keep things running smoothly so that no major issues appear and to maintain the life expectancy of your relationship.
So many people reach out for couples counseling when things have already gotten really bad. And, while it is possible to help recover the marriage, it is very hard and sometimes painful. At this point, communication issues have to be addressed, as well as the other issues that have festered.
Marriage Maintenance is important too, just like maintaining your vehicles.
Couples Counseling can be a way to keep the communication flowing, to learn how to fight fairly, and to put each other first. Sometimes couples just need the periodic outside validation and others may need that outside third party to help them navigate through a tough situation.
Just think about what your marriage could be like if you maintained it regularly.
And if you already think your marriage is great, then think of what it would be like to keep it that way, or make it even better! Couples Counseling isn't only for when things aren't going well, it's to make sure that things keep going well.
Next week, I'll discuss Stage of Life Couples Counseling.
If you'd like to see previous blog posts on Fair Fighting Rules in Marriage, Couples Communication, Self-Esteem, or Anxiety, please click
here.
If you'd like more direct and personal help with improving communication in your relationship, or you're already to the resentment stage, please visit my website and schedule a free 15 minute consultation - www.brittaniedmillslmft.com.
I provide online couples counseling throughout Tennessee, South Carolina, Florida, & California.
Instagram - @brittaniedmillslmft
Phone - (925) 335-6122
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