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Money Matters: Debt & Finances in Marriage

 

Money Matters: 

Debt & Finances in Marriage


The topic of finances often weaves its way through the delicate balance of love, commitment, and shared goals.  In working with couples over the years, one of the topics that almost always inevitably comes up is finances.  One person feels the other one is spending too much money.  One person is trying hard to pay down debt.  This topic can have a profound impact on marital harmony.

In this blog post, I'll explore the challenges that many couples face and provide some guidance on navigating these difficult discussions.

The Importance of Open Communication


Open, honest, and transparent communication is the cornerstone of a strong, lasting marriage, especially when it comes to financial matters.  From the very start of their relationship, a couples should begin talking about finances.  This will make it a normal and comfortable topic to begin with, so it isn't as difficult to discuss later.  As a relationship progresses and becomes more serious, couples should create a safe space to discuss their individual financial histories, beliefs, and goals.  By openly sharing their perspectives, and their own struggles, couples can build trust and work towards a unified vision for their financial future.  There should be no secrets when it comes to money, in a marriage.  Open and transprarent communication is important when developing joint financial goals.

Establishing Financial Goals

Setting joint financial goals is crucial for couples.  Whether it's paying off debt, saving for a home, planning for their children's education, or contributing to charitable causes, establishing shared objectives fosters a sense of purpose and teamwork in managing finances.  The importance of establishing financial goals starts by agreeing to how money will get spent in the marriage.  It may mean agreeing to spend less on certain things for a while, in order to accomplish a larger goal.  In order to establish these goals, we go back to the first tip of open communication.  Goals cannot be estalblished if a couples has not learned how to communicate.  And without goals, the couple cannot move forward in a healthy way, as each person will be funcitioning independently, which leads to worse financial issues.

Tackling Debt Together

Debt can be scary and can feel like a daunting hurdle to overcome.  But facing it together can strengthen the marital bond.  Conversations about debt are admitedlly hard to have, especially if going into the relationship, one person is already carrying more debt than the other.  Tackling debt often requires significant sacrifices, and then a change in spending going forward.  And spending habits are hard to break.  Implementing a debt repayment plan rooted in mutual understanding and sacrifice is key.  Having a plan that both people agree and commitment to is crucial.    Encouraging each other through the pocess and celebrating small victories can turn a challenging financial journey into an opportunity for growth and resilience.  Tackling debt together also often brings a couple closer together, emotionally, because it requires them to trust each other more fully and rely on each other to hold up their end of the agreements.

Stewardship & Generosity

Once in a marriage, recognizing that all resources ultimately belong to the couple, regardless of who the primary income earner is, involves practing good stewardship of your finances and resources.  Couples can incorporate this principle into their marriage by practicing generosity.  Many couples find it very rewarding to be able to give back to their community or to a cause that holds personal significance to them.  Setting aside a portion of your income for charitable giving not only promotes a sense of purpose, but also strengthens the bond between partners, knowing they are contributing to something larger than themsleves.

Seeking Professional Guidance

Seeking financial advise from professional can provide valuable insights.  Financial counselors can offer practical strategies and tools to help couples navigate budgeting, savings, and investments.  Marriage counselors can offer practical strategies and tools to help couples navigate communication around personal values and finances, and help the couple better understand each other's perspective on and relationship to money.

The journey of managing money and finances in a marriage requires intentionality, open communication, and a commitment to shared values.  By grounding financial decisions in common goals and working together, couples can navigate the challenges and emerge stronger in their commitment to each other.  Once a couple is better able to have discussions related to finance, the smoother things will become.

If you'd like to see any of my previous blog posts, please click here.

If you'd like more direct and personal help with improving communication or harmony in your relationships, please visit my website and schedule a free 15 minute consultation - www.brittaniedmillslmft.com.


I provide online couples and individual counseling throughout California, Tennessee, South Carolina, and Florida.


Website - www.brittaniedmilslmft.com

Email - bdmills@brittaniedmillslmft.com

Phone - (925) 335-6122



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