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Navigating the Seas of Togetherness: A Therapist's Guide to Vacationing

 

Navigating the Seas of Togetherness: 

A Therapist's Guide to Vacationing


Vacations are a great opportunity for couples to create lasting memories, strengthen their bond, and escape the routine of everyday life.  However, the journey from depautre to return can sometimes be challenging.  As a couples' counselor, I've witnessed common pitfalls and successes.

Below are some tips to help couples navigate the seas of togetherness during their vacations

Communication is Key

As with most things involving couples, open and honest communication is the cornerstone of a healthy relationship.  Prior to going on vacation, a couple should discuss the location and type of vacation they'd like to have.  This may means that each person shares a few location ideas and together, they discuss the pros and cons of each, until they agree.  This may also mean discussing whether the vacation will be a leisurely, relaxing trip, or one full of scheduled activities and tours, or hikes of local viewpoints.  It's important to know and agree ahead of time about expectations and preferences.  If these discussions can be had prior to travel, it reduces the chance of disagreements to spoil the trip later.  It's also good to discuss any potential challenges before the trip and do whatever possible to prepare for them in advance.  This ensures that both partners are on the same page and helps prevent misunderstandings during the vacation.

Plan Together

Collaborative planning fosters a sense of shared responsibility.  It also allows for interactive conversation about each person's hopes and dreams for the trip.  It's important to involve both partners in the decision making process, from choosing the destination to planning daily activities.  This not only ensures that both individuals have a say but also helps in creating an itinerary that caters to both of their interests.  It's a good way to foster compromise.  It also allows for each person to try new activities that their partner many enjoy.

Balance Alone Time & Together Time

It's crucial to strike a balance between spending quality time together and allowing space for individual interests.  Couples should acknowledge and respect each other's need for alone time whether it's to rerad a book, take a walk, or simply relax.  When you thought about vacation, you probably thought about the two of you, spending every moment together in paradise.  But for many people, it's important to have some time apart, even during vacation.  When travelling, there are often various things that each person likes to do, that the other doesn't, so make sure that you build time into the trip to allow for that.  It reduces that chance either person holds any frustration or resentment about not being able to do some of their own activities.  This allows each person to better enjoy their time together.

Be Flexible

Unforseen circumstances are a part of travel.  It's almost like you can plan for the unexpected to happen.  But if you can be prepared to adapt and stay flexible, your chances are better that you can relax and enjoy your vacation.  In fact, it's even better if you can consider the unexpected as an "adventure" and you can laugh about it and tell your grandchildren about it later.  Resilience in the ace of unexpected challenges can bring couples closer together and turn potential stressors into shared experiences.

Set Realistic Expectations

While it's natural to have high hopes for a vacation, it's essential to set realistic expectations too.  This way, anything above and beyond does happen, it's a pleasant surprise.  Understand that not every moment will be perfect, and some hiccups may occur.  And make sure you plan enough cushion time in your plans, to accommodate the unespected.  This is another way of setting realistic expectations.  Embrace imperfections and focus on the positive aspects of the journey.  Remember, each vacation is an adventure of a lifetime.

Create Rituals

Establishing vacation rituals can be a delightful way to deepen connection.  Whether it's a morning beach walk, sunset viewing, or a special meal, these rituals can become cherished traditions that couples look forward to on each getaway.  

Check-In Emotionally

Regular emotional check-ins during the vacation can prevent feelings from festering.  It also helps open the lines of communication regarding anything that may have upset one person, but they didn't want to say anything because they didn't want to reun the vacation for their partner.  By having regular check-ins, there is a designated time and space to air concerns.  Address concerns, express gratitutde, and ensure that both partners feel heard and understood  This practice can strengthen emotional intimacy and foster a supportive environment.  

Capture the Moments

Take the time to capture and reminisce about special moments.  Photos and mementos can serve as reminders of the joy experienced together, creating lasing memories that contribute to the overall positive narrative of the relationship.  And they are moments to share later with friends and family.


Vacationing together can be an amazing  and transformative experience for couples when approached with intention, comunication, and flexibility.  By applying these principles, partners can turn their vacations into opportunities for growth, connection, and the creation of beautiful shared memories.  As a couples' counselor, I encourage couples to embark on their journeys with an open heart and a willingness to navigate the seas of togetherness hand in hand.

If you'd like to see any of my previous blog posts, please click here.

If you'd like more direct and personal help with improving communication or harmony in your relationships, please visit my website and schedule a free 15 minute consultation - www.brittaniedmillslmft.com.


I provide online couples and individual counseling throughout California, Tennessee, South Carolina, and Florida.


Website - www.brittaniedmilslmft.com

Email - bdmills@brittaniedmillslmft.com

Phone - (925) 335-6122


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