6/15 - Self-Care That’s Actually Effective (Not Just Bubble Baths): 5 Self-Care Strategies You Can Implement Right Now
Self-Care That’s Actually Effective
(Not Just Bubble Baths):
5 Self-Care Strategies
You Can Implement Right Now
First, let me start by saying that I’m not anti-bubble bath.
In fact, give me a hot soak, a good book, and a locked bathroom door, and I’m happy.
But as a Marriage & Family Therapist, I’ve found that many people have been sold a fake, Hallmark movie, social media version of self-care. It’s often reduced to spa days, scented candles, or “treat yourself” moments—which, don’t get me wrong, can be helpful. (Besides, who's got the money for that kind of self-care on a regular basis?)
But true self-care? The kind that’s actually effective? The kind that brings emotional, relational, mental, and even physical restoration? That runs deeper.
Self-care isn’t just a luxury—it’s a lifeline. It's a requirement. Especially when life feels overwhelming, your relationships feel strained, or you're pouring from an empty cup. And for it to be truly effective, it has to move beyond the surface. I've mentioned it before. Self-care is the equivalent of putting your oxygen mask on first, before helping anyone else with theirs.
So, let’s dig into what real, sustaining self-care looks like—and how to start practicing it today.
Self-Care Is Boundaries, Not Burnout Recovery
Don't wait until it's too late. True self-care isn’t what you do after you’ve hit your limit.
It’s what helps you not hit your limit in the first place. It's caring for yourself on a regular basis, not figuring out how to recover from going too far.
That means setting boundaries—even with people you love. It means learning to say no, or “not right now,” or “I can’t take that on.” It’s turning off your notifications, taking a social media break, or being honest with your partner about needing time to reset.
We hear about setting boundaries all the time, but how often do you actually practice them? When you're at work, a healthy boundary could look like shutting your office door for 30 minutes, to focus on a specific task without interruption. It could look like scheduling time in your day for a walk outside. Or it could look like staying in the car 5 extra minutes after you get home, to decompress and mentally transition to the next part of your day, before directly interacting with your family.
Self Care Strategy #1: Ask yourself, “Where am I saying yes out of guilt, not alignment?” Then start small—set one healthy boundary this week that protects your peace.
Self-Care Is Showing Up For Your Emotions (Even the Uncomfortable Ones)
It’s easy to believe that self-care is about feeling good. That's what we've been conditioned to believe. That self-care is about hedonistic pleasure, always doing something that feels good or rewards us for our daily life.
But the truth? Sometimes, it’s about feeling deeply.
Instead of numbing or avoiding your emotions, real self-care invites you to name what’s going on inside. Sad? Anxious? Frustrated? Jealous? There’s power in acknowledging those feelings, even when they’re uncomfortable. If identifying your actual feelings is new to you, try referring to an emotions wheel or emotions chart.
You don’t have to fix them right away. But you do have to feel them. Self-Care gives you permission to feel the feelings, even if just for a while. Long enough to acknowledge them. Often, just by allowing ourselves to feel the feelings, it helps us work through them easier than when we try to avoid them or push them away.
Self-Care Strategy #2: Ask yourself how you're feeling. And don't use the words "okay", "fine" or other common words that brush off real feelings. Dig deep for words to express your true feelings.
Try journaling for five minutes when you feel off. Start with, “Right now I feel…” and see what comes up. No judgment. Just honesty.
Self-Care Is Prioritizing Sleep, Food, and Movement
I know this isn’t glamorous—but it’s essential. I bet you never thought about these basic things as being self-care, did you? But these are some of the most essential self-care items, yet often the most neglected.
If you’re running on fumes, skipping meals, or glued to a chair for 12 hours a day, your nervous system is in constant survival mode. No face mask, pedicure, glass of wine, or spa day can fix that.
Effective self-care means caring for your body’s basics. Sleep. Nutrition. Movement. Hydration. Not because you’re trying to look a certain way—but because your body is the home of your emotional well-being. Your body needs these things to function. And when we let the basics go to the wayside, everything else suffers. In fact, by ignoring some of these basics, you could end up with actual physical health issues that will require your attention on a much larger scale. Think heart attack or hospitalization. If we don't learn to listen and tend to our body's basic needs, it will send a more serious message later, one that will take much more time and attention. But it will not be ignored!
Self-Care Strategy #3: Ask yourself: “What’s one small shift I can make to support my body today?” Maybe it’s drinking more water, taking a 5 minute walk during the day, actually taking a lunch break, stretching after work, or going to bed 30 minutes earlier.
Self-Care Is Repairing Relationships That Matter
This one surprises people. But when your closest relationships are tense or broken, no amount of “me time” can bring you full peace. When your relationships aren't right, your entire being is off kilter.
Sometimes, the best form of self-care is tending to a relationship that needs healing—whether that means having a hard conversation, offering forgiveness, or going to therapy. Sometimes it's just making time for a friend who you've neglected to spend time with because you've been "too busy".
Connection is a core human need. And while alone time can be restorative, relationship repair can be life-changing. Humans were created to live in relationship with others and isolating ourselves goes against that innate need. The more we isolate, the worse we feel. And while you may be more of an introvert, that doesn't mean that you don't need some type of interaction with other human beings.
Self-Care Strategy #4: Who in your life do you need to reconnect with, or set healthier patterns with? Maybe the most loving thing you can do for yourself this week is call a friend, schedule a therapy session, or simply say, “I miss you.”
Self-Care Is Permission to Be Human
You don’t have to have it all together. No one expects you to. You’re allowed to have bad days, ugly cries, awkward moments, and seasons of mess. In fact, other people tend to be a lot more forgiving of us and our mistakes, than we are of ourselves.
Self-care that’s actually effective includes grace.
Grace for how far you’ve come. Grace for what you can’t control. Grace for the mistakes you've made. Grace for the progress that’s happening behind the scenes.
And hey—sometimes self-care is bubble baths and naps. But other times, it’s doing the hard, necessary work of showing up for yourself: saying no, asking for help, grieving losses, and choosing what’s good for you even when it’s not easy.
Self-Care Strategy #5: When you’re tempted to be hard on yourself, try this phrase instead: “I’m doing the best I can with what I have today—and that’s enough.” Remember, tomorrow is another day.
Final Thoughts
If no one has told you lately: You deserve real care. Not just the kind that looks pretty on Instagram, but the kind that restores your soul, protects your energy, and brings you back to life. The kind that you work on on a regular basis, not just when things have gotten too overwhelming or when you've reached your breaking point.
As a therapist, I’ve seen firsthand how transformative it is when people start to prioritize meaningful self-care. It ripples into their marriages, parenting, careers, and mental health. It’s not indulgent. It’s responsible. And it’s never too late to start.
So take the bath, sure. But also set the boundary. Feel the feelings. Call the therapist. Eat the nourishing meal. Take the walk. Ask for help.
That is self-care that heals.
You’re worth it! And you won't regret it.
If you'd like to see any of my previous blog posts, please click here.
If you recognize that you haven't prioritized yourself and you're ready to do the work to put yourself and your well-being first, please visit my website and schedule a free 15 minute consultation - www.brittaniedmillslmft.com.
I provide online individual and couples counseling throughout California, Tennessee, South Carolina, and Florida.
Comments
Post a Comment