Strengthening Family Bonds: 5 Ways to Connect This Summer
Strengthening Family Bonds:
5 Ways to Connect This Summer
As Summer is quickly approaching, it's time to start thinking about how to manage those seemingly endless Summer hours. How do you juggle work, children out of school, sports & activities, and family vacations, while keeping your sanity? Below I outline 5 ways for families to remain connected during the busy-ness of Summer.
As children, we looked forward to Summer, being out of school, having free time, and probably a family vacation. As adults, we look forward to it because it tends to be a little less chaotic because we don't have to get children up and shuttled off to school, makes lunches, rush to eat dinner and do homework before sports practice. But for adults, it also means having to come up with place for the children to go or daily activities for them to participate in or adjusted work schedules, to make sure that children aren't left unattended. It seems kind of bittersweet, almost more chaotic than the school year, although we often forget that, as time passes.
As a Marriage & Family Therapist, I often have to work with couples and families on what and how to manage the ups and downs of the Summer schedule. And often families are at one end of the spectrum or the other, enjoying the slower pace or feeling more stressed trying to keep everyone occupied. And of course, there's often the financial implications of vacations and activities or the stress of planning them.
Below are 5 Ways to Remain Connected as a Family During the Summer:
1. Reclaim Family Time
It's good to use some of the less structured time of the Summer to intentionally set aside family time. During the school year, it's hard to ensure there's enough family time together, between homework, sports, and other activities. But during the Summer, when some of those things slow down, it's great to take advantage of it.
Consider setting aside time throughout each week for such things as family game nights, no-phone dinners, or crazy themed dinner nights. Or plan weekly outings, such as mini-golf, bowling, or going to the local swimming pool or water park.
It's a great opportunity to create and build simply family traditions that can be passed along over the generations and can build a stronger family foundation, in general. So think or ask about what activities your family enjoys doing and start creating memories that will last a lifetime.
2. Create a Couple’s Summer Ritual
Whether it's just you and your spouse, or the whole family, it's always important to prioritize the couple relationship. Discuss and decide to do things a little differently during the Summers, such as having morning coffee walks or weekly, or even nightly sunset chats. Maybe after dinner walks around the neighborhood or adult conversations by the firepit, with some friends. Make room and create couples "rituals" that are specific to Summer. It's is always important to maintain a strong couples relationship, whether there's children involved or not, and Summer is frequently a good time to be able to do that because many workplaces slow down a bit or can allow for somewhat more flexible schedules, and the weather is often nicer.
Or maybe if a larger Summer vacation isn't in the budget, plan for a mini weekend getaway could be just as rejuvenating. Some couples or families choose to weekend trips to the same location each year, so they have lots of great memories at favorite locations.
3. Use Flexible Schedules to Your Advantage
Without all the demands of school, homework, and sports, use the new found flexibility in your family's schedule to your advantage. Give you children more free time to do things they enjoy or encourage them to try some new creative activities. Check out your local library and get your children interested in reading books. I have such fond memories of checking out the Choose Your Own Adventure Books from the library during the Summer and immersing myself in those ever-changing adventures. And, yes, before you say it, I know we're in the digital age now, but who says children and adults alike, can't enjoy reading actual paper books?
As parents, you can use the flexible time to model genuine connection as a family or spend time doing community activities or volunteer work together. Some families even taken mission trips to foreign counties together, to serve those less fortunate. No matter what you choose, there is often more flexibility during the Summer, to enjoy things you may not otherwise have the time to do.
4. Tackle Conflict Before Vacation
But I do caution against the "vacation will fix all our problems" perspective that many people have. They wait and hope for the Summer vacation that will supposedly fix all the tension and problems that build during the year and hope to come out the other end with a perfect, happy "white picket fence" family.
The truth is that thee is often unspoken family conflict that actually gets worse when everyone is together 24/7. And with the focus being on trying to get along and have fun, the problem or tension never actually gets addressed, so only gets worse.
Instead, I suggest having open conversations or even a pre-vacation check in about expectations and emotional needs during the trip or vacation. Make sure not to over plan every moment of every day and leave room for unscheduled relaxation time or time for each individual to do their own thing.
5. Prioritize Emotional Wellness Alongside Fun
Summer shouldn't automatically equal stress. I encourage parents and couples to notice signs of stress, tension or burnout in themselves and each other, before, during, and after vacations or extended time together. Discuss ahead of time, how to handle these issues before they become problematic.
Create and share ideas with each other on how everyone can balance fun, with quiet/restorative time, as well, for such things as listening to music, journaling, or other more quiet, individual activities that help each person maintain a sense of balance and well-being.
And plan ahead for the Fall and the school year by discussing ways to ensure that each person can maintain balance, by participating in certain activities or even by participating in their own therapy. This demonstrates the recognition of the importance of maintaining emotional and mental health.
Conclusion:
Summer doesn't have to be jam packed or picture-perfect to be meaningful. Sometimes just some rest and down time is all that's needed. Or sometimes it actually more family connection. But do what makes sense and works best for your family.
No matter how you and your family choose to spend Summer, I encourage you to slow down, reconnect with each other, and be intentional with your relationships, whether it's with family or friends.
I provide online individual and couples counseling throughout California, Tennessee, South Carolina, and Florida.
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