1/25 - Thinking About Therapy? Here's What the First Session is Really Like.
Thinking About Therapy?
Here’s What the First Session Is Really Like
Let me start by acknowledging that therapy is a big step. Whether you’ve been thinking about it for weeks, months, or years, or finally booked an appointment after a hard moment, it’s completely normal to feel nervous walking into your first session. If you've never participated in therapy before, you may have lots of questions. Many people wonder, What will I say? Will it be awkward? What if I don’t know where to start?
The good news is—you don’t have to have it all figured out. The therapist is well-versed in acclimating people to therapy. The therapist will guide the process and will do whatever they can to answer questions and make you feel comfortable.
The First Session Is About Getting to Know You
Your first therapy session is not about fixing everything or diving straight into the hardest parts of your life or opening up difficult topics. Instead, it’s a conversation focused on getting to know you—your story, some of your history, as it relates to what you're seeking therapy for, your current experiences, what brought you to therapy in the first place, and what you are hoping to get out of therapy.
Some therapists utilize a formalized Intake Assessment and others gather just enough information to get started, and build from there. I never want a client to feel like I am over-prying into their life from the beginning. As you feel more comfortable, other important information will come up during our sessions.
In the first session we’ll talk about:
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What prompted you to reach out now?
- Was there something specific that prompted you to reach out now?
- Or did you finally give into that feeling you've had for months or years?
- Is whatever bothering you affecting your day to day life?
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What feels most important for the therapist to understand about you?
- What are some of the things that you feel a therapist needs to know about you, to make sure the sessions are most valuable for you?
- If you've participated in therapy before, what worked and what didn't work?
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What you’re hoping will change through therapy?
- What are your goals?
- What would be different if this therapy is successful?
- Are there characteristics of your past that you'd like to work through and resolve?
There’s no “right” way to share. Some clients come in with a clear list of concerns, while others just know that something feels off. Both are completely okay. The therapist will guide you through the intake. It's likely that the first session will be the therapist asking a lot of different questions, to get a clear picture of what's going on, what the priorities might need to be, and what strategies might be most effective.
We’ll Explore What’s Working—and What Isn’t
Therapy isn’t only about problems. In your first session, we’ll also look at what’s currently working in your life and relationships. Discussing and understanding your individual strengths is so important to helping you work through difficulties. This helps us build from your strengths rather than focusing only on what feels broken. Therapy should never focus solely on "What's Wrong?" I don't ever advocate focusing only on the negative, because it prompts our brains to stay in that place, instead of allowing their brain to rewire to the positive.
We’ll gently explore:
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Patterns you’ve noticed
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Areas where you feel stuck or overwhelmed
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What you’ve already tried
This gives us a fuller picture of where you are and helps guide the direction of future sessions. Some of what I look for in that first session is what area or areas we should address first and develop an idea of what strategies will be most effective for you.
Setting Goals Together
Another important part of the first session is clarifying your goals, as well as developing some goals together with the therapist. You don’t need perfectly worded goals—sometimes it starts with something as simple as, “I just want things to feel easier,” or “I don’t want to keep reacting this way.”
Together, we’ll begin shaping what you hope to gain from therapy, whether that’s:
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Better communication with your spouse
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Emotional regulation
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Clarity around decisions
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Healing from past experiences
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Stronger relationships
Goals can evolve over time, and that’s expected. Therapy isn't always linear.
It’s Normal to Feel Nervous (and Even Relieved)
Feeling anxious before your first session is super common. Many clients worry about being judged, saying the wrong thing, or not knowing what to say at all. Some clients are not used to sharing their feelings or being open and vulnerable. What I hear most often after that first session, though, is a sense of relief. I've had clients tell me that it felt good to share all the emotions that they've been holding on to, and to just have someone listen.
Clients frequently share that the first session helps them feel more grounded, understood, and hopeful—sometimes simply because they’re no longer carrying everything alone. Many clients simply need a place to unload and someone to listen.
A Safe Place to Begin
Therapy is a collaborative process. The first session is simply the beginning of building a space where you can show up honestly, ask questions, and take things at your own pace.
You don’t need to prepare a speech. You don’t need to have answers. You just need to show up and be yourself.
And from there, we’ll take the next steps together.
If you'd like to read any of my previous blog posts, please click here.
If you're interested in receiving couples or individual therapy, please visit my website to schedule a free 15 minute consultation - www.mustardseedchristiancounseling.com
I provide online individual and couples counseling throughout Tennessee, California, South Carolina, and Florida.
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