This Therapist's Therapy

Each year, after some time in prayer with God, I am given One Word for the year.  It's a word that I believe is given to me by God, to focus on, think about, reflect on, and improve on.  For 2020, my word is Patience.  And I think God gave me this word this year, because over the last few years, I have gotten more and more impatient.  And I believe God wants me to grow in this area. First, let me admit that I have not done well in focusing on my One Word this year, so I will likely need to continue with it again next year, along with whatever word God chooses for me for 2021. But as you know, the year 2020 has definitely been a year for trying one's patience.  I mean, the year started out well enough.  Seeming like it would be a good year.  In fact, my husband and I had planned and paid for a 2 week Hawaiian cruise for our 10th wedding anniversary...something we've been planning and looking forward to for several years.  That was supposed to take place in April.  I had even

I've been thinking a lot about gratitude lately.  I realize I tend to talk about it a lot with my clients, recommending it as a way to improve their mood.  I also realize that I try to practice it regularly, in my own life.  Gratitude is defined as "the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness."  There are a few things that come to mind when I think about gratitude.  First, I think about what a simple, inexpensive, yet profound gesture or attitude it is.  It doesn't usually cost but a minute or two of our time and can with done with no money.  So, why is it so hard to come by?  Why do people have such a hard time being grateful or showing gratitude?  Why is it so hard to appreciate something or someone?  Is it because we're now in a society, or age, in which so much is just expected.  Nothing seems sacred anymore.  It seems like people just think that they deserve anything and EVERYTHING they want or ask for.  And becaus

Welcome to this week's blog post.  Today I'm simply sharing what's on my mind after attending a full day training on Law & Ethics in Youth Services and Child Welfare. This past week I attended a full day of Law & Ethics for Youth Services & Child Welfare, via Zoom, no less.  Sounds riveting, doesn't it.  Well, I agree.  Usually a full day training of Law & Ethics is dry and boring, but mandatory for mental health clinicians to keep their license.  So, a necessary evil, of sorts.  However, this training was much different and much more interactive, keeping me engaged far better than any previous Law & Ethics trainings I've attended. Some of the topics that I have regularly struggled with, came up during this training, and the responses from the other attendees was interesting.  Such vignettes as:     "Your client is selling Girl Scout cookies and has an ambitious goal.  She asks if you will help her out   and buy a few boxes?  And asks if you

 When I embarked on the path of becoming a Marriage & Family Therapist, I had high hopes of helping people address the issues that impacted their relationships (and honestly, what issues DON'T impact relationships).  I had hopes of being able to help couples improve their communication, relationships, and marriages.  I wondered to myself if being the product of divorced parents would hinder my ability to adequately help other people with their relationships. But the more I thought about it, the more I saw it as an experience that could lend itself to helping others.  So, instead of shying away from it, I became more determined.  Then I got married myself and thought that would also help me better relate to clients and their relationship issues.  And I believe that to be true to this day.  However, as my first marriage began to slowly deteriorate, I began to once again question my ability to provide good couples counseling.  I mean, after all, I was in a failing marriage.  And w

  This past week, I had the opportunity to attend a training about Suicide Assessment & Prevention.  And it got me thinking about society's collective mental health condition as a result of the "Quarantine" over the past almost 6 months.   Isolation, even partially, is especially difficult for many people.  People who regular socialize with many people, who consider themselves extroverts, and who get their energy from being with people, are especially affected during this pandemic.  The lack or decrease of being around people significantly impairs their emotional well-being.  This puts more people at a higher risk of suicide. I have a full time job as a Social Work Supervisor with Child Protective Services AND I work as a private practice therapist.  In those roles, I have to be keenly aware of any changes in mood, even ever so slight, that could indicate that someone I work with or one of my clients is depressed or having suicidal thoughts.  While this is something t

This past week, I had the opportunity to attend a 2 hour DBT 101 training, free through my employer.  As a Child Protective Services social worker, I have seen the benefits of DBT with various clients over the years and knew it had some very valuable tools, but I had never taken the time to learn much about it.  So I thought this was my opportunity.  Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) centers around the fact that two opposing facts can be true at the same time.  For example - "I am tough, but I'm also gentle." or my favorite, "I'm doing the best I can, and I can do better."  DBT is an evidence based practice that stems from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and was originally created to treat Borderline Personality Disorder. I learned about the Bio-Social Theory around DBT.  Bio - there is a biological vulnerability to emotions and Social - an invalidating environment that communicates that what you're feeling, thinking or doing doesn't make sense. 

Today is Self-Care Sunday, and I a sit here and think about what that means, I realize that self-care can take many forms and it's different for each person.   Self-Care for me often means relaxation with no particular agenda in mind, or with very little on my "To Do" list.  But it also means taking a walk out in nature, enjoying the beauty of God's creation - the sights, the smells, the sounds.  It can mean doing meal prep for the week, to better ensure than I will eat healthy, even on busy days.  It can mean catching up on chores I didn't get to during the week, so that they aren't hanging over me as I start the week.  It can mean spending time with my husband or my pets.  It could also mean spending some dedicated time working on things related to my private practice. In an article by Tami Forman at the www.pathfoward.org website, she explains that "Self-care is not an indulgence.  Self-care is a discipline.  It requires tough-mindedness, a deep and pe