This Therapist's Therapy

  Couples Communication Tip #5 One of the biggest topics that bring folks to couples counseling is lack of communication.  This is the last tip in this series of Couples Communication Tips. Today's tip is about Oversharing .  This is about being direct and communicating with your partner about what you need. You've heard it before, that your partner can't read your mind.  Well, unfortunately, no matter how long you've been together, your partner cannot read your mind . In order to avoid some arguments, fights, and miscommunications, you need to overshare. Tell your partner exactly what you need or expect Wives, your husband doesn't automatically know you'd love for him to wash the dishes in the sink, or take out the trash when it's full.  Husbands, you wive doesn't automatically know that you'd like 30 to relax when you get home from work, just to unwind, before engaging with her and the kids.   Trust me, I've been a victim of this way of thinkin

  In Part 4  of this series on How to Manage Anxiety ,  we talked about Exercise/Movement. What types of exercies or movement did YOU do this week?  Tell us about it! Over the next few weeks, I'm going to share some tips on how to manage anxiety Maybe you're in a Leadership or Executive Level and you're excelling at your job, but deep inside, every day is a battle within yourself.  Maybe you're a wife, mom, and career woman, and sometimes things just get overwhelming. Today we'll look at an ongoing way in which you can manage your anxiety - Practicing Gratitude. I can't say enough on how much an "Attitude of Gratitude" can really help with mood and anxiety.   It sounds so simple. I encourage you, each morning, as you start the day, to think of three things you are grateful for.  These can be small things or bigger things.  From, "I'm grateful for my cat, because he likes to snuggle on my lap while I watch t.v.". to "I am grateful for

  Communication Tips for Couples #4 One of the biggest topics that bring folks to couples counseling is lack of communication.  Over the next few weeks, I'll be sharing some basic communication tips for couples.   Today's tip is about "I" Statements.  This can be a very effective communication strategy, because it doesn't put the other person immediately on the defensive.  And, in fact, it allows them to better understand the direct impact their words and actions have on their partner. "I" Statements go hand in hand with Reflective Listening , as we discussed last week.  In fact, it should be a common statement used in Reflective Listening.   The format of "I" Statements is: "I feel______when you______because_____ ." In the first blank, you insert how you feel, such as sad, worried, angry. You are identifying your feeling, without it feeling like blame. You are taking ownership and responsibility of your own feelings. For example,

  In  Part 3  of this series on How to Manage Anxiety ,  we talked about The 5-4-3-2-1 Exercise. Drop a comment below to share how the exercise helped you or what you noticed when you tried it. Over the next few weeks, I'm going to share some tips on how to manage anxiety Maybe you're in a Leadership or Executive Level and you're excelling at your job, but deep inside, every day is a battle within yourself.  Maybe you're a wife, mom, and career woman, and sometimes things just get overwhelming. Today we'll look at something you can do on a regular basis OR in the moment that anxiety strikes - Exercise/Movement. You may have heard that exercise releases endorphins, which are natural chemicals in our body that make us feel good.  Endorphins are helpful in reducing stress and anxiety, as well as strengthening feelings of positivity.  It is often considered a natural and healthy "high".  Instead of taking substances to fight your feelings of anxiety, you can

  How to Manage Anxiety - Part 3 In Part 2 of this series on How to Manage Anxiety ,  we talked about Positive Visualization. Drop a comment below to share how the exercises helped you or what you noticed when you tried them. Over the next few weeks, I'm going to share some tips on how to manage anxiety, especially for those who are considered High Performers.  Maybe you're in a Leadership or Executive Level and you're excelling at your job, but deep inside, every day is a battle within yourself. Together, we'll look at some strategies you can use in the moment of anxiety, that no one else even has to be aware of.  Because, let's face it, you don't want everyone else to know just how anxious and uncertain you're feeling. The next tool is the 5-4-3-2-1 Exercise.  I know you're probably asking, "What the heck is that?" It's sort of a way we can trick our mind or distract it from the thoughts that are causing anxiety. Again, these are things

  Couples Communication Tip #3 One of the biggest topics that bring folks to couples counseling is lack of communication.  Over the next few weeks, I'll be sharing some basic communication tips for couples.   Today's tip is about Reflective Listening.  I mentioned this at the end of Tip #2 .  This is one of the most effective communication strategies, not only in relationships, but anywhere that communication get jammed up. I'm not going to lie, Reflective Listening takes practice AND takes intentionality, but when you use it, it can actually make a world of difference. Here are the 5 Steps to Reflective Listening : 1)  Listen to Hear Typically when we're in a discussion with someone and they're talking, expressing their point, we are already thinking of what we want to say next or how we're going to dispute their point.  We're not listening to truly hear what the other person has to say.  In this first step, we need to actually stop and listen.  Hear what y

 Communication Tips for Couples #2 One of the biggest topics that bring folks to couples counseling is lack of communication.  Over the next few weeks, I'll be sharing some basic communication tips for couples.   Today's tip is about the Time Out.  Time Outs aren't just for kids! When you and your partner are arguing and it feels like things are getting too heated, it isn't always the best idea to keep trying to resolve the issue or come to a conclusion.  Sometimes continuing the conversation does more harm than good. I recommend that, when the two of you are in a good space, that you come up with some agreements around taking a Time Out.  A Time Out is a specified period of time in which each of you disengage from the arguement or discussion, physically separate from each other, and take some time to think and cool down.  This allows each of you time time to cool down, consider your partner's position, gather your thoughts, and be prepared to come back to the discu