This Therapist's Therapy

  6 Tips for Surviving Halloween Happy Halloween!  Muah ha ha ha! Halloween is the one night a year when we get to unleash our inner monsters, eat way too much candy, and turn every little thing into something spooky. But if you’re not careful, this playful holiday can turn into a horror story of its own!  Here are some survival tips for navigating Halloween with your sanity intact. 1. Costumes Costumes aren't just for kids.  Let’s face it, Halloween costumes are all about balancing creativity with comfort. You want to impress with a killer outfit, but remember sometimes less is more.  Homemade costumes are often more impressive than store bought costumes, and can be made to your specifications and for your comfort. 2. Pumpkin Carving Carving pumpkins is a classic Halloween activity for all ages, but we all know the dangers of going in too confident with those tiny, dull knives. Pro tip: Keep it simple. The more elaborate you try to be, the more likely you are to get hurt.  If you

  Building a Strong Marriage:  The Power of the Four Agreements As a couples counselor, I often see couples struggling with communication issues, misunderstandings, and conflict. However, I find that many of these challenges can be alleviated by embracing the principles of the Four Agreements, a framework popularized by Don Miguel Ruiz.  When I first read this book, its simplicity, yet complexity really stood out to me.  I've referred back to this book many times, both personally and professionally. These agreements can serve as a powerful foundation for a healthy, thriving marriage. Let’s explore each agreement and how they can transform your relationship. 1. Be Impeccable with Your Word The first agreement, "Be impeccable with your word," emphasizes the importance of speaking with integrity and honesty. In a marriage, the words you use carry immense weight. They can either build your partner up or tear them down. So many times in my work with couples, I've seen just

  From ‘Me’ to ‘We’:  Unlock the Secret to Shared Interests with Your Partner One of the keys to a healthy thriving relationship is discovering shared interests. Whether you're just starting out or have been together for years, developing activities that both you and your partner enjoy can deepen your bond, bring about better communication, and create lasting memories. Let’s dive into how you can start building shared interests by reflecting on key aspects of your relationship. 1. Where Did You and Your Partner Meet? Thinking about where you and your partner first met can be a great start for developing shared interests. Was it at a concert, a mutual friend’s party, or perhaps a hiking trip? Where or how you met may already hint at common interests or values you share. For example, if you met at a social event, you may both enjoy activities that involve interacting with others, such as game nights or group adventures.  You could consider joining some groups that plan activities tog

An "I" for an "I": 6 Steps to Using "I" Statements Effectively The Power of "I" Statements in Marriage  Communication is key to any healthy marriage. When couples argue or face challenges, the way they express their feelings and needs can either bring them closer together or drive them further apart. One of the most effective tools for improving communication and reducing conflict is the use of "I" statements. Here's why "I" statements are so powerful and how you can use them to strengthen your marriage. Understanding "I" Statements "I" statements are a communication tool that focuses on expressing and taking ownership of your own feelings, needs, and experiences rather than blaming or criticizing your partner. By starting your sentences with "I" rather than "You," you take responsibility for your emotions and reduce the chances of your partner feeling attacked or defensive.  I'm

  The Power of Presence Does it feel like you're living in a world that never seems to stop. Days are filled with to-do lists, notifications, and the ever-present pressure to be productive. In our fast-paced world, it’s easy to get caught up in the rush of daily life.  In this digital age, it's gotten easier and easier to "build" friendships and have meetings virtually, to the point that we've been lulled into thinking that the virtual interactions can truly replace in person interactions. We're often distracted by work, technology, and our own thoughts, leaving little room for genuine connection with others. Yet, one of the most profound gifts we can offer another person is our full, undivided presence. What Does It Mean to Be Present with Others? Being present with someone means truly engaging with them, mind and body. It’s about setting aside distractions, focusing on the person in front of you, and actively participating in the interaction. This kind of pr

  Mirror, Mirror: 9 Tips for Reflective Listening Reflective Listening: Tips for Couples in Therapy One of the main issues that couples come to therapy for is communication problems.  In fact, communication is often at the heart of many relationship challenges. Reflective Listening is a powerful tool that can help couples bridge gaps, deepen understanding, and rebuild trust. As a therapist, here are some tips I often share with couples to help them master the art of reflective listening in their relationship. 1. Prioritize a Calm and Open Environment For reflective listening to be effective, both partners need to feel safe and comfortable. This means setting aside time to talk when neither of you is rushed, distracted, or overly emotional. Choose a time when you can both focus on the conversation and each other. Pro Tip :Agree on a “talk time” where you can sit together without distractions like phones or TV. This dedicated time shows your commitment to really hearing each other.  I of

  A Therapist's Look at 8 Domains of Self Care In a recent episode of the Married & Confused Podcast, my colleague and I delved into the often-misunderstood concept of self-care. Many people think of self-care as indulgent activities like massages or sipping mimosas by the pool. While these can be enjoyable, they only scratch the surface. True self-care encompasses a holistic approach, addressing various aspects of our lives to enhance our overall well-being. Let’s take a deeper dive into the 8 domains of self-care that can help you nurture your mind, body, and soul. 1. Physical Well-Being The Physical Domain of self-care is foundational to our overall health. It includes activities that promote bodily health, such as maintaining a balanced diet, engaging in regular exercise, and ensuring you get adequate sleep. These elements are critical because they affect our energy levels, mood, and ability to cope with stress. Simple changes, like incorporating more fruits and vegetables