This Therapist's Therapy

  Self-Care & Stress Reduction During the Pandemic - Holiday Edition As we enter a new season of the COVID pandemic, I can't help but think about self-care.  It seems we all ought to focus on self-care more in the next year, to help get us through what's likely to be a trying year. So what kinds of things can you do for self-care during the holidays? 1)  Do What Brings You JOY! Bake holiday goodies, listen to holiday music, watch your favorite holiday movies, make holiday crafts.  None of these things are restricted by COVID.  And these are all things you can do from the comfort of your own home. 2)  Get Out in Nature! I know it's Winter and it might be cold or rainy, but there are likely a few days here and there that you can get outside or take a trip to the snow.  One of the fastest ways to reduce stress is to get into nature.  If you can't travel, then just grow some houseplants and surround yourself, or go to a local park and just take a peek around you. Slow d

  Good work so far!  I'm glad you've come back for Part 3.  You're going to be glad you decided to take this journey. This week you'll use the information you've gathered about yourself over the past 2 weeks to develop your confidence.  I bet you're wondering how your values, barriers, and next steps lead to confidence.   Here's the thing, now that you know who you are and what's important to you, and hopefully broken down the barriers that you identified and have taken the steps to make the improvements you wanted to see in your life, you can live authentically and congruent with who you are.  You are no longer living behind a mask of uncertainty or insecurity! Take a moment to think about that!!  You've done a lot of work to get here!  Give yourself a pat on the back!   So much of confidence simply comes from knowing yourself and your values. Confidence is defined as "the feeling or belief that one can rely on someone or something; the state o

  Today is the last part of this series on Finding Yourself, Your Confidence, and Your Purpose.  I hope you're feeling a little excited about this week's topic.  This is the fun, yet kind of scary part.  So let's talk about finding your purpose. You discovered your values, what's important to you.  You determined the meaning and maybe the origin of your values, what really makes you, "you".  You discerned your barriers, what's gotten in the way of living out your values and who you were meant to be.  And you decided the next steps, the things you committed to doing to make a positive difference in your life.  In doing these things, you were able to figure out how to live authentically and congruent with your beliefs and values, which enables you to have a confidence in yourself that you may have never experienced before.   So, I'm wondering if, while doing all this work, you began to see a theme bubble up?  Were there ideas or feelings that came up acr

  Welcome back!  How'd it go in doing that bit of self-exploration last week?  I hope it gave you some insight about yourself.  Now we'll use that to draw from, to begin discovering the barriers to living out your values and what your next steps are. Step #3:  Discern the Barriers Now that you've discovered your values and determined what's important to you and why, it's time to take a hard look at yourself and discern your barriers.  These are often barriers that you've put up because of fear of failure, fear of rejection, or fear of being hurt.  But in order to find your confidence, you need to confront the barriers and knock them down one by one.  Take your time and be honest. So let's revisit the list. Family Relationships - What has stopped you or currently stops you from having the type of family relationships you really want?  How have you contributed to these barriers?   Marriage/Intimate Relationships - What issues are you facing in your marriage or

Do you feel like you aren't quite sure who you are or what your purpose is?  Do you feel unheard, unappreciated, or under-valued? Or do you feel like you don't fit in?  Do you worry about what other people think of you? Chances are that you’ve been battling these feelings for so long, you’ve come to believe them yourself. There are patterns in place that you can't seem to break.  But you want to be YOU. If you’re ready to change those beliefs, break those patterns, learn to value yourself, and take control of your own life, keep reading.   You're going to begin to discover who you were really meant to be. And you're going to take the first steps toward being comfortable and confident with who you are. Step #1:  Discover Your Values Values are the things in life that you feel are most important.  While one person might value their family relationships above all else, another person might value their career.  Everyone's values are different, and there's no &qu

 Today is Word Mental Health Day, and boy, isn't 2020 a year that we could all use some mental health awareness?!  I'm finding that now, 7 months into this crazy pandemic, that folks' mental health is finally, really starting to take a hit.  After 7 months of being mostly cooped up at home, unable to go out much, unable to socialize with your friends and family, in person, and being stuck in front of a screen all day, we're beginning to experience some significant depression.  Not to mention, if you live anywhere on the West Coast, you've also had to deal with wildfires, smoke, and poor air quality. You deserve to be your whole self, every day.  Not just World Mental Health Day. Since 8th grade I have wanted to be.....known I would be....a therapist.  One of my greatest passions is to help people figure out just how to be their "whole self".   Sometimes this means helping you uncover and work through the experiences in your past that are causing roadblocks

Each year, after some time in prayer with God, I am given One Word for the year.  It's a word that I believe is given to me by God, to focus on, think about, reflect on, and improve on.  For 2020, my word is Patience.  And I think God gave me this word this year, because over the last few years, I have gotten more and more impatient.  And I believe God wants me to grow in this area. First, let me admit that I have not done well in focusing on my One Word this year, so I will likely need to continue with it again next year, along with whatever word God chooses for me for 2021. But as you know, the year 2020 has definitely been a year for trying one's patience.  I mean, the year started out well enough.  Seeming like it would be a good year.  In fact, my husband and I had planned and paid for a 2 week Hawaiian cruise for our 10th wedding anniversary...something we've been planning and looking forward to for several years.  That was supposed to take place in April.  I had even