This Therapist's Therapy

RESPECT...Find Out What it Means to Me! (Part 3) Welcome Back!  I'm sorry for not having a blog post last week.  I was not feeling well, so was not up to creating the post.  But here we are with Part 3 of the Respect series.  This week, we're looking at tips #21-30 on how to give and receive respect. Let's get started... 21)  Compliment the other person on acts of generosity, "You are so generous!"  Thank you for doing that."  Who doesn't like to receive a compliment?  We all do, let's face it.  And who doesn't like to be acknowledged for their kindness or generosity.  Knowing that, it makes sense to provide that for others.  And we all know that what gets noticed, get repeated.  Respect comes from acknowledging other people's kindness and strengths. 22)  Don't correct the other person's effort in helping, unless there is a significant safety risk involved.  If they want help, they will ask. It's so easy to create a narrative for w

Today is part 2 of a 10 part blog series about respect.  Each week we'll explore 10 ways to show respect.  This week, we are looking at #11 - 20.  If you'd like to find out more about the firsts 10 ways to show respect, please check out last week's blog post at: https://brittaniedmillsmft.blogspot.com/2020/11/respectfind-out-what-it-means-to-me.html I hope this blog series helps you understand how to give and receive respect. How do you show respect, you ask?  Let's walk through it... 11)  Help the other person carve out time to spend with their friends The is particularly important in relationships/marriages, because, while each of you should be the other person's best friend, it is very important for an individual to have friends and interests outside of the relationship, so they can be well-rounded.  It also allows the other person time to decompress, particularly in regards to the stressors of life at home.  It's important for people to fellowship with other

RESPECT...find out what it means to me! (Part 1) Today we're going to start a 10 part blog series about respect.  Each week we'll explore 10 ways to show respect. There is so much controversy and confusion about respect, so I'm going to break it down.  First, basic respect should be shown to everyone.  But beyond that, further respect is earned.  One must show respect in order to earn it.   How do you show respect, you ask?  Let's walk through it... 1)  Refrain from interrupting others in conversation, when they are speaking.   What if they say something wrong or something you disagree with?  The same principle holds true.  Interrupting others is like telling them that what they have to say is not important.  So instead, practice Reflective Listening.  Oftentimes we focus on getting our own point across rather than listening to the other person.  Before responding to the other person, truly listen to what they have to say (without simultaneously thinking about what you

  Self-Care & Stress Reduction During the Pandemic - Holiday Edition As we enter a new season of the COVID pandemic, I can't help but think about self-care.  It seems we all ought to focus on self-care more in the next year, to help get us through what's likely to be a trying year. So what kinds of things can you do for self-care during the holidays? 1)  Do What Brings You JOY! Bake holiday goodies, listen to holiday music, watch your favorite holiday movies, make holiday crafts.  None of these things are restricted by COVID.  And these are all things you can do from the comfort of your own home. 2)  Get Out in Nature! I know it's Winter and it might be cold or rainy, but there are likely a few days here and there that you can get outside or take a trip to the snow.  One of the fastest ways to reduce stress is to get into nature.  If you can't travel, then just grow some houseplants and surround yourself, or go to a local park and just take a peek around you. Slow d

  Good work so far!  I'm glad you've come back for Part 3.  You're going to be glad you decided to take this journey. This week you'll use the information you've gathered about yourself over the past 2 weeks to develop your confidence.  I bet you're wondering how your values, barriers, and next steps lead to confidence.   Here's the thing, now that you know who you are and what's important to you, and hopefully broken down the barriers that you identified and have taken the steps to make the improvements you wanted to see in your life, you can live authentically and congruent with who you are.  You are no longer living behind a mask of uncertainty or insecurity! Take a moment to think about that!!  You've done a lot of work to get here!  Give yourself a pat on the back!   So much of confidence simply comes from knowing yourself and your values. Confidence is defined as "the feeling or belief that one can rely on someone or something; the state o

  Today is the last part of this series on Finding Yourself, Your Confidence, and Your Purpose.  I hope you're feeling a little excited about this week's topic.  This is the fun, yet kind of scary part.  So let's talk about finding your purpose. You discovered your values, what's important to you.  You determined the meaning and maybe the origin of your values, what really makes you, "you".  You discerned your barriers, what's gotten in the way of living out your values and who you were meant to be.  And you decided the next steps, the things you committed to doing to make a positive difference in your life.  In doing these things, you were able to figure out how to live authentically and congruent with your beliefs and values, which enables you to have a confidence in yourself that you may have never experienced before.   So, I'm wondering if, while doing all this work, you began to see a theme bubble up?  Were there ideas or feelings that came up acr

  Welcome back!  How'd it go in doing that bit of self-exploration last week?  I hope it gave you some insight about yourself.  Now we'll use that to draw from, to begin discovering the barriers to living out your values and what your next steps are. Step #3:  Discern the Barriers Now that you've discovered your values and determined what's important to you and why, it's time to take a hard look at yourself and discern your barriers.  These are often barriers that you've put up because of fear of failure, fear of rejection, or fear of being hurt.  But in order to find your confidence, you need to confront the barriers and knock them down one by one.  Take your time and be honest. So let's revisit the list. Family Relationships - What has stopped you or currently stops you from having the type of family relationships you really want?  How have you contributed to these barriers?   Marriage/Intimate Relationships - What issues are you facing in your marriage or